Someday, maybe
by freckledhazels
Summary: lucas left tree hill in senior year to fulfill what he thought was his responsibility. now 4 years later he comes back to reclaim the love of his life. but is it too late? leyton sorta,and a few UNLIKELY pairs.BIG shock ard chp5 r&r pls!
1. i love u but i chose the light

Hey guys this is a new idea i had... I'm hoping it'll work out alright – i'm really excited for it. Please read and review – let me know what you think.

Note_: What if Lucas eloped with Brooke at the end of season 3 – thinking she was pregnant? What if Haley never came back to Nathan after the tour? _Warning: some serious twists involved in this one! And a BIG shocker around chapter 5! Happy reading!

Disclaimer: this is all fictional. I promise.

Chapter 1

**i love you but i chose the light**

'He's mine isn't he?'

Peyton looked up into this blonde man's eyes. His eyes – the colour of the sea and the sky, the colour of the castles we build near the clouds, the colour of hope. Eyes with which she had once looked at with hope, desires, dreams, wishes. Eyes which had once looked at her with desire and love.

But things had changed.

'He is, and always will be _none _of your concern,' she said. 'And you, Lucas Scott had better leave us alone. Forever.'

_4 years ago._

Peyton Sawyer was rushing, she had letters to post, a birthday present to buy, an anniversary to plan and a date to get ready for. She smiled to herself as she thought of her date. It was a happy smile, a contented smile – she knew that whatever she wore, he would say what he always said _'Peyton, I may be biased but I do believe I have the most beautiful wife in the world.'_

She allowed herself a few minutes to smile in that memory before scrambling for her keys again. Why did keys always fall right to the bottom of your handbag no matter what you did?

'Looking for these?' she heard a familiar deep-throated voice behind her. A bunch of silver keys were held tinkling in front of her face.

She turned around and gasped.

'Lucas...'

'I admit,' he said. 'I stole them. They dropped out of your handbag while you were running off the bus.'

Peyton was still standing there with her mouth wide open.

'Aren't you happy to see me Peyt?' he said smiling.

'Happy?' she said. 'Of course I'm happy, Luc...' She reached out and hugged him close. It took awhile for her to let go.

'Hey, hey hang on...' Lucas laughed. 'You're suffocating me a little blondie.'

Peyton blinked the warm tears that were welling up inside despite herself. She coughed and turned away to open the door.

'Brooke's not with you?' she said uneasily.

'No...' he said quietly. 'She decided to stay in Connecticut for awhile.'

'Oh.'

'Yep,' he watched her fumble with the keys, trying to stuff them into the keyhole. Even from where he was standing he could see she was shaking.

'Hey well the truth is, we're separated.' he said. 'We both wanted different things.'

There was a slight crash as the keys fell to the floor. They both leant down to pick them up – facing him, their knees almost touching Peyton could feel his breath upon her, his skin near to hers, his scent – and it brought it all back. Memories of a life with more than contentment, memories of a life that she had always wanted, with him.

'I was thinking...' he said softly, as they both knelt there, on their knees. 'Maybe we could go out sometime, you know hang out, like old times.'

Tears began to flow from her eyes.

Pain.

Bitterness.

Resentment.

Most of all – regret.

Lucas was still talking. He rambled a little when he got nervous. Shrugging his shoulders, looking around, saying _'I dunno, I...'_

'I dunno, I... I mean I've made some mistakes Peyt, and I'm sorry,' he was saying. 'But I don't wanna waste anymore time, you know? I think, maybe we could make this work.'

Peyton looked up at him with tears streaming down her face.

Even as he wanted to reach out, to wipe away her tears, he felt that the look on her face was different, confusing. Something was very, very wrong.

'Lucas,' she said at last shakily. 'You're too late Lucas. You're too late.'


	2. back at square one

**back at square one**

Chapter 2

Peyton Sawyer sat on the edge of her long bed. Ever since the psycho Derek she had to have all the walls of her bedroom painted bright red, regardless of whether she spent those nights alone or not. Somehow she had this reasoning that the fear, passion and emotion she felt radiating from the walls would scare all the nightmares away. So far it had worked, except... the nightmares in herself.

Enter freaky-alter-angel-of-death-ego.

'So, we're back where we started aren't we Sawyer,' the white and black streaked leggy gothic wannabe seated on _her_ chair taunted, brushing her teeth. 'Oooh... Lucas and Peyton, Lucas and Peyton, Lucas and Peyton, oh wait! He's _still_ not with you.'

Peyton looked over and rolled her eyes. Long ago she'd given up ignoring her or screaming against the existence of the inner consciousness. Her inner consciousness existed – any boy was she a character.

'So I guess you need a _new _tagline,' she spat out her toothpaste. 'Oooh wait I've got it – people always come back... too late! You geddit?'

'Shut up,' Peyton said pulling out a drawing pad and pencil.

'I don't know why you bother, you haven't drawn anything for 4 years and let's see, 9 months?' her alter ego shot her a beaming smile.

Peyton shot her back a withering look. She scratched down a few pencil lines before tearing off the page and crumpling it aside. She tried again – and crumpled. And again. And again.

'See, I told ya?' she winked. 'Remember I'm you – I'm in your head!' She threw back her white and black streaked head and laughed a hysterical laugh. 'Only I'm much much more honest.'

Peyton breathed heavily and frustratedly. She looked around at her blank red walls. She'd always felt she shouldn't have got rid of all her artwork. But it had been so hard – everything had reminded her of him. _People always leave, and now we can't have it, _even _ellie's _stuff. He'd been there, injecting his presence into her inspirations, filtering her paper with his fingers, filtering her fingers with his touch.

'Yeah I know,' said her 'honest self'. 'Life's a pain. Which reminds me of why I'm glad I don't really exist. Anyway – what'd you say to him?'

_'Get out.' Peyton opened the door, her hand shaking._

_'Peyton, I need to know, I have a right to know... he's mine isn't he, ours... from that day...' Lucas gripped her hand firmly._

_'Let go of me,' she said gritting her teeth. Lucas dropped her hand, he looked shocked – hurt even._

_'Peyton... I just, I just want to know. If he's mine...' he said._

_'He's not.' she interrupted._

_She looked up into his blue eyes – those very same blue eyes that had saved her so many times, knowing that now she was letting go of the possibility of him ever saving her again. But she had to, for everyone's sake. In those eyes she saw what she had seen the night Brooke broke up with him, the night he lost Keith, the night she had walked out of his room, scared to say goodbye. Hurt. Hurt that she had caused, she and she alone. And the recognition of that fact was eating her up inside._

_'He's not Lucas.'_

_She looked up at the blonde stranger in front of her, ignoring the sound of her own heart._

_'Please leave.'_

_The sound of her own heart, breaking._

'I don't know why you care so much,' she was filing her nails now. 'It's not like you haven't got anything to remember him by, I mean you have...'

'Mums!'

A blonde 4 year old boy came running into her room Peyton threw her things aside, scooped him up into her arms and lavished him with kisses.

'Oh my little man, I've missed you.' she blinked back her tears – for the umpteenth time.

'I love you too Mums...' he said. 'But you're making my face all icky!'

Peyton laughed. 'Where you good to Daddy?'

'Yup, tell her daddy tell her!' he climbed down and ran towards the legs of a tall man standing at the doorway.

Peyton wiped her face with the palm of her hand and watched her little bundle of joy with a burst of maternal pride.

'Hi Mrs Scott,' said the man at the door.

'Hello Nathan.'


	3. too much, too late

Hey guys thanks for reading & reviewing. I hope you like this one – this chapter broke me up.

**too much, too late**

Chapter 3

'What d'ya mean too late...' he said half-laughing as she let them in.

An uneasy laugh, almost fearful laugh.

She threw her keys on the nearby table. She missed. She seemed especially nervous, erratic even. She was rushing about even as she talked to him, half-talked to him. Throwing off her shoes, putting on high heels, clearing away empty cartons of milk. He sat down on the sofa as he watched her slim body rush in and out of rooms.

'I'm in a rush today,' she said. 'Maybe we can talk about this some other time...'

'Peyton I...'

She was off again. Running upstairs.

'Give me a sec,' she shouted.

He didn't mind. She was probably just bothered about something. He was used to Peyton being like this, things people would call issues, he just accepted. Loved even. They made her _her. _He noticed a familiar photograph on the mantlepiece – the whole gang. Way, way back in freshman year. Before Haley had left with Chris, back when he was still just friends with both Brooke and Peyton, back when Nathan was still, well – a jerk. Then again, thought Lucas, Nathan had obviously remained a jerk – but _that _was another story. And there he was - a skinny, scrawny blonde boy from the Rivercourt – as Whitey had called him. And Peyton, the cheerleader with that tight-lipped smile sitting beside him.

'What are you doing?' she asked.

He turned around. She was wearing a black low neck dress, her hair tied back roughly, wisps of her fringe falling off her face.

'You're wearing unmatching earrings,' he teased.

Peyton looked ruffled. Roughly she pulled off her one pearl one diamond. 'Listen Lucas I really don't have time for this today, you should have called I...'

'I did call,' he reached out and grabbed her right arm. 'I must have left at least 10 messages.'

'After you didn't call for 6 months,' she said softly.'And before that it was 4 and a half. And before that I don't know how long. 3 calls Lucas, 3 calls in 2 years and 1 pathetic postcard.'

She sighed deeply, holding her forehead in her other hand.

'Peyt I'm sorry...' he hushed. 'It's just Brooke, she was having a breakdown. Before that was the miscarriage and I couldn't leave her side. I needed to be focused you know?'

'Yes,' she breathed. 'I know.'

'And I couldn't come back to Tree Hill, not after what Nathan did to Haley...'

'She left him first...'

'But she came back...'

'But it was too late.'

The silence between them, the tension. You could cut it with a knife. It never used to be like this. They used to agree on everything, believed the same things, loved the same things.

'I don't wanna fight about this Peyton, I'm back here for us. That's why I've come back, to start things over...'

'Please stop Luke...' Now she was pulling away from him walking towards the fireplace.

'No, it's all the truth, I want everything Peyton...' he cried.

'Please Luke...'

'I love you.'

Another silence. Slowly, so slow you could almost hear time ticking away Peyton turned. She looked up at the love of her life through teary green eyes.

'I'm married Lucas,' she said raising up her left hand – almost like a sign of surrender.

'To Nathan.'

The door slammed shut, slowly Peyton felt her body crumble to the floor, her heels cutting into her skin beneath her. She crawled, inching along the wooden floorboard to the phone.

_Ring ring._

'Hello, Nathan Scott speaking.'

'Nathan, I don't know if I can make it for the dinner with your parents tonight, I'm not feeling so well.' She gripped the phone as she choked back the sobs.

'Oh... okay no problem, I'll come back early for a take away?'

'No, no you go ahead, I'll be at home sleeping... I'll be a bore anyway.' She covered the mouthpiece as the sobs escaped her throat in heavy, unfamiliar, guttural sounds.

'Okay sure thing babe. See you later.'

'Bye.'

And there, crawled up on the floorboards, hugging a worn out old photograph for dear life, a broken, empty, lost girl cried herself to pieces.


	4. so much for true love

hey guys im sorry this has taken so long but my entire computer crashed taking 4 of my new chapters with it. please be a little patient with me cos its going to get really good from here onwards. be prepared for some twists n turns. thanks r&r appreciated greatly!

**so much for true love**

Chapter 4

Peyton Sawyer looked over at the happy couple and smiled a mildly amused smiled. It had been perfect, the perfect wedding. The bride, all decked out in lace and trim looked perfectly elegant; the groom, as was to be expected, was smiling his bashful, cheeky grin at her. They were dancing now in the half-tipsy, half-merry fashion of newly weds. It was a lovely wedding, a real beauty. It definitely topped the last Tree Hill wedding - hers and Nathan's.

Not that theirs hadn't been special in its own way, she thought smiling fondly at her tall husband as he whistled and cheered the couple on. She let her eyes glance around the room and rest on the intricate purple lilacs and white lace ribbons - definitely the bride's exquisite taste. Amusingly, the only word she could ever think of to describe her wedding was 'traditional'. Not a scrap of lace, ribbons and no flowers - especially not wild ones. Just strictly, blessing, family, friends, reception. No big grand affair, no flashy lines. In her heart she felt that Nathan had done all he could to separate their wedding as far as possible from his and Haley's.

Strange how she had been so okay with the idea of marrying someone's whose heart still bled for another. Misery loves company? Maybe. Sometimes she had the strange feeling that his hurting comforted her, his heartache reminded her of the existence of her own heart, his pain reminded her to breathe. She remembered how they had found solace in each other, how they had clung to each other in their pain. How they had been together through the tears, the hurt, the anger, and worst of all the purest ache which no tears nor groaning could wipe away - the dull ache that clung onto one's soul like it would never leave.

Speaking of things that never leave.

'By the way,' came a slow drawl and a black-winged angel. 'Lucas is here'.

'I noticed,' Peyton mumbled.

She had tried inviting more people, Lucas and Brooke at least. But after three tries she gave up, the cards kept getting sent back with big red letters - "invalid address" stamped over them. She hadn't broached the topic of inviting Haley.

'What was that honey,' Nathan asked reaching over to touch her hand. Peyton smiled his hand away and shook her head softly.

Strange how they had seemed contended, even happy together. Their wedding, though not joyful (that was too strong a word), not happiness, but it was a pleasant memory. One she could smile upon easily. The Nathan she had married was so different from the one she had dated earlier. He was sweet, caring, understanding, unselfish. He had held onto her through their pain, and when his pain had slowly subsided, he let her cling onto him for dear life as hers didn't. He wiped away her tears in the middle of the night. He picked her up when she broke down for the umpeenth time. He closed her eyes at night when she couldn't sleep for fear of missing that phone call. And one fine day, he had offered her another life, one that didn't promise her much joy, not much happiness, but one that showed no prospect of pain, one that one believed would definitely be - pleasing. He had swept her up in those strong arms of his and kept her close, more importantly, kept her safe from her own nightmareish pain.

It was those arms that held her now.

'You alright, Sawyer?' he whispered into her ear.

Peyton nodded gingerly.

'Liar,' the angel cackled. 'Ooooh looks like Lukey's getting a whee bit _drunk_.'

'Honey why not you go have fun with your team?' Peyton mumbled.

'You sure?' he hesistated.

'Positive,' she urged. 'Go, go... they're calling for their coach.'

Nathan strode off happily, throwing aside his jacket and tie to join the group of youngsters in their tuxedos. They were laughing with him, joking with the couple, enjoying their youth. They adored Nathan, ever since he became Whitey's replacement as the coach of Tree Hill high.

'I suppose that's where we're different,' Peyton mumbled to herself. After Nathan tumbled into hurt and depression, broke his leg, lost basketball and almost everything else he mourned. But when he'd recovered, he recovered. He found back his love for basketball in a different form, he found back his love for life in different form, he found love, in a different woman, a different kind of love, but nonetheless love.

'And what do you do...' came the "drawler". 'You break your pencils, chuck out your paints, sell your record player and eat chocolate chip cookie dough all day.'

Peyton threw a rolled up napkin to the side and ignored the passing silly bridesmaids' stares.

Nathan threw her a questioning glance from across the hall where he was doing some group dance. "wanna join?" he mouthed.

'I'm fine,' she shouted over with a wave of her hand. 'Not much of a party-go-er.'

Nathan nods, understandingly. Why does he always have to be so understanding? Why can't he shout at me? Force me to join? Force me to... to do... _something_.

But the new Nathan was understanding, even more so than ever. He had even kissed her when she said that she didn't want kids yet. That she couldn't take it, not yet. _Not ever, not like this_.

_'We'll wait till you're ready,' he had said._

_What if I'm never ready?_

_What if I can't be?_

Nathan couldn't understand, he never did. He couldn't pull her out of the pain she felt, he couldn't break down her walls and rescue her from where she was. He couldn't... he couldn't...

Save her.

Peyton forced her head to remain faced in front.

'He's behind...' she hissed.

He'd been there the whole time. She could see him faintly out of the corner of her eye, all the way at the back of the hall - at least twenty tables away from hers, but she was so aware of his actions it was as if he was sitting right next to her. Every inch he moved made the hairs on the back of her neck stand. He was watching, watching her. Calling the waiter over. Pouring himself another glass of wine. Usually he never touched liquor. Was that what this... she had done to him? But it was his fault, _his _fault!

But it didn't matter whose fault it was.

They had wanted it for so long and now...

Now they couldn't have it.

Ever.

She wanted to turn around.

To jump up.

To grab him.

To scream at him _'Save me Luke, save me...'_

She called the waiter over.

'Red wine please.'

She downed one glass, then another, then another. It didn't help, she still felt as edgy and as agitated as ever.

He was watching her.

Standing up, staggering, his knees shaking.

He walked past her, swerved past her table, a hand's length away from her.

She breathed in as she felt him pass.

'Boy this is some party huh?' Nathan collapsed into the chair next to her.

She breathed out, watching Lucas approach the couple.

Her hands and fingers were twisting in her lap, pulling at a napkin, slowly tearing out the fibres, ripping it apart - shred by shred.

'And so,' Lucas said into the microphone. 'I guess it's time for the best man to give his speech. But first, a toast - to the happy couple. To Rachel and Marvin!'

'Rachel and Marvin!' the crowd echoed.

_'Will you be my best man, Lucas?' Mouth had asked. 'For old times' sake.'_

For old times' sake indeed.

Mouth squeezed Rachel as the crowd whistled and catcalled. She touched his cheek and kissed him gently, the blushing bride and the charming groom. Picturesque.

And there she was.

Beautiful.

Elegant.

Gorgeous.

He could reach out any moment to touch her pale skin, to kiss her red lips, to touch her eyelids, even with the memory of last week's conversation ringing in his ears.

He could run over there, sweep her in his arms and kiss her.

Only he couldn't.

He had a speech to give.

He took his speech out of his pocket, looked at it for a few minutes and looked up. Into her eyes. He saw something there...

Was it anger? Or hurt? Or resentment?

Regret.

He threw away his well-phrased speech and cleared his throat.

'Friends, today we are gathered here to commemorate Rachel and Mouth. But more importantly, we are here to commemorate true love. If I remember correctly, in high school Mouth and Rachel took some trouble in not showing each other how much they cared about each other. In other words, its taken _some _time for them to get where they are today.'

'It's about time!' yelled one of the basketball team boys. The crowd laughed.

'Exactly,' Lucas continued. 'See the thing is guys, sometimes true love takes awhile to get there. But people that believe in true love don't just settle, they fight for true love. They'll be like Mouth and Rachel - who'll take true love halfway, late, anything as long as they get true love in the end. Because true love's better half way, then settling for second best.'

He paused a moment, thinking about what he had just said.

'Taking true love halfway,' he continued at last with a sad laugh. He looked up smiling brightly. 'So to Mouth and Rachel, and to true love.' Lucas lifted up his glass shakily to the couple

'To true love,' the crowd echoed.

Lucas looked over to the blonde beauty at table 2.

But she was gone.


	5. yesterday's gone

**Yesterday's gone**

Chapter 5

'Hey Sawyer... where're you?'

'I'm outside... I had to get some fresh air... I'm... I'm sorry...'

'Nah, its alright babe, just that everyone's leaving. You ready to go now?'

Peyton gripped her handphone close to her ear. She bit her lip as she leaned her tired head against the concrete wall. How strange it was that she always seemed to end up like this, alone outside the back door of some successful party. Waiting for everyone to leave so that she could breathe again. She could hear the sound of the crowd draining out of the hall. Mouth and Rachel had already left in their limousine, ready to start their new life together. And here she was, at the back of some hall listening to the sound of her own breath coming out in short, worn out gasps against the fierce wind.

'Peyt?' Nathan's caring voice came through the phone line.

'Hey... erm I think I'll stay here awhile, that is if you don't mind... I just need awhile to think...I'll catch the bus home... that alright with you...' Peyton fumbled, coming up with some random excuse, her usual random excuse for that matter.

'Erm... okay no problem,' came his reply. 'You erm... need me to come by and pick you up later?'

It was almost like he knew what her reply would be.

'No I'll be alright, bye honey.'

'Bye, love you Peyt.'

Peyton waited for the dial tone indicating he'd hung up. She sat there, on the cold, hard steps, the rough wind biting against her pale face, her bare neck. She felt an unearthly desire to rip off her blue dress. She had wanted to wear the black one but Nathan had persuaded her out of it.

_'You can't wear black to a wedding Sawyer, it's like you're in mourning.'_

_He laughed, but not unkindly._

_He just didn't get it._

_It wasn't his fault._

_He just couldn't get it._

_She didn't blame him, she blamed herself, if anything._

_Everyday._

_He'd just never get it._

_'A black shawl alright then?'_

She wrapped the black shawl around her shoulders, trying to protect herself from the icy air outside.

'Isn't it sad...' came the slow condescending speech. '_I _get to wear black whenever I want.' The white haired menace played around with her short black dress, stepping lightly in front of Peyton. 'While you're the one in mourning!' She threw back her head and laughed. 'For the loss of dear Lukey... or was it...' She paused for dramatic effect.

'For the death of dear Peyton?'

'Shut up!' Peyton screamed bringing her hands to her ears, her voice cutting the stillness of the air like a knife.

'Peyton?' Luke came walking over through the big doors. 'You okay? I heard a scream... someone, someone's voice calling your name... something about death? What's going on Peyton...you alright?'

Peyton watched the blonde man stand in front of her, concerned, worried even. She ran over, dropping her black shawl. She held onto his arm for a second before grabbing him close, hugging him tightly her arms hanging over his neck.

'You can hear...you can hear it...' she whispered. 'I'm not going mad.'

'Of course you're not,' he soothed, stroking her hair. 'You're Peyton, my Peyton.'

Peyton let those tears, pent up from so many years flow out. She felt his arms around her, his cheek next to hers, she let her whole body lean into him. Letting him take care of her, protect her, save her from herself.

He was talking, about something, rambling on words, words, words. But it was his touch she felt. She let him lead her in the hall, into the warmth – for once without the fear that the warmth would show the coldness in her own soul.

He was talking, speaking to her, she let his words wash over her like foam.

'I'm sorry... just so many things were happening... Peyton... I love you still... I'm sorry... I needed to... It was complicated... but I love you... I love you... I love you Peyton.. I.. I still...'

She kissed him.

A deep kiss, pouring out all the pain and hurt and emptiness, letting his heart fill hers, letting go of everything, everyone, the voices in her head. A kiss filled with all her desire, longing, all her dead dreams. Pulling his head close to hers, feeling his shoulders in her hands, feeling his lips upon her lips.

She pulled off his jacket, his bare arms wrapped around her, her shoes kicked off, his tie falling to the ground.

Suddenly Lucas pulled away slightly, staring deep into her, a stare she knew and recognized 'Peyton, I...'

Putting her finger on his lips Peyton hushed him and stepped out of her dress.

'Less talking this time...'


	6. aftermath of the wedding A

Hey guys chapter 6. the time frame's a little confusing so i put in a few pointers here and there. Enjoy!

**aftermath of the wedding (part a)**

Chapter 6

_Timeframe: 1 hour after Mouth & Rachel's wedding _

Ever stood at the crossroads of something?

Ever tread the line between the biggest mistake of your life and the only thing that has made your life worth living?

I have.

So if you haven't, don't judge me.

Not you.

'Peyton?' Lucas asked questioningly.

I paused in standstill, half-tip toeing, half cursing myself for making noise. I looked up and smiled what I suppose would be a sheepish smile. Picking up my dress, my bag, my bra, my handphone.

Where was my shawl?!

I checked my phone – three missed calls. _Nathan Hp, Nathan Hp, Home._

Pulling at my hair, trying to get it into a bun of some sort.

And so this is what it feels like.

This is what it feels like.

This is what leaving feels like.

This is what it feels like to say...

'Goodbye,' I mouthed the words as I closed the door behind me, leaving behind the only man I have ever truly loved.

_Timeframe: 3 months and 4 days after Mouth & Rachel's wedding_

'So Peyton, you trying to clear out your art now, huh?'

**crash.**

'Ooooh, was that a slam of the rubbish bin.. I guess someone's pretty mad. Let me guess does it have anything to do with the fact that a _certain person_ hasn't called for the past 7 days?'

'I really really don't know what you expect! I mean he called for 3 months straight every day and you didn't pick up, now he doesn't call and you're fuming.'

'What was that? Oh yes. **3 months and 4 days**, of course. My mistake.'

'I'm sorry... _not_.'

**laughs.**

'There they go, one, two, three, four... relax! What's with the whole stack! Hey! I have an idea... you could keep all those that don't remind you of Lucas...'

'Hang on.'

'All of them do!'

**laughs.**

'Yeah, I guess it's cos of what he says your art matters to him. Well doesn't matter to anyone else does it?'

**laughs.**

'What's that? Your art matters?? Keep saying it... I may eventually believe it. But we both now you never will.'

'And now he's leaving Tree Hill. Again.'

'So I guess he's gone now... _forever_.'

**door slams.**

'Ouch. I don't know why you keep being violent with me. Wait hang on a sec... if you hit me, and I'm really you, doesn't that kinda equate to beating up yourself? Now I wonder why you'd wanna do that?'

'Oooh no throwing please. You really really should try to calm down, relax. I mean now that you're...'

_Timeframe: Approximately 10 years after Mouth & Rachel's wedding_

'Nathan, I'm pregnant,' Peyton said.

She turned around to stare down her husband.

'I'm not elderly! Relax a little, I can still wash the dishes for goodness' sakes,' she smiled and resumed her washing of the china.

'I'm just concerned that's all,' Nathan replied wiping soap bubbles off his wife's nose. He moved away and leaned against the kitchen table.

'Your leg still bothering you?' Peyton asked.

'Yeah a little,' he smiled. 'But it's okay...'

'Our silly son Shane, he kept insisting you take him fishing...'

'I wanted to...'

'But you shouldn't! He's really getting such a handful for a ten year old.'

Nathan smiled at the thought of the active boy with his blonde hair and his mother's green eyes.

'Speaking of which, Lucas called again, to see Shane.'

Peyton stopped suddenly, almost dropping the plate she was carrying. She struggled to regain her composure.

'Oh?' she said. 'What about?'

'He wants to spend time with him,' he said. 'I said I'd talk to you about it...'

'Nate, you know what I said, I don't want Shane mixing with him, after what he did to us. With Haley and everything.' Peyton resumed to washing her dishes with such vigor she even surprised herself.

'Yeah I know honey but he's his uncle...'

'We're his parents!' she argued, her hands shaking. 'You and me. He doesn't need anyone else.'

'You see the thing is... he's leaving Tree Hill.'

This time she really did drop the plate.

'Ouch.'

'Honey!' Nathan said rushing over and grabbing some kitchen towels. 'Be careful, come on let's go sit down.'

Peyton struggled to breathe normally. She had to stay calm, everything, everything was going to be okay.

She hated this feeling of vulnerability, being pregnant. Having someone else's life to take care of on top of your own. It hadn't helped that her first pregnancy had left her in a perpetual state of nerves, explaining to Nathan how she had 'suddenly changed her mind and went off the pill' – without telling him.

After that, she could only associate a big tummy and expectancy with a sense of fear and anxiety.

Not that she didn't love her baby boy – with all of her heart in fact.

He was hers – Shane.

But after that she had to give Nathan a child, she had to... after what she had done...

'Ouch,' she cried.

'Careful, careful... let me just put some ointment on it...' Nathan soothed.

_Timeframe: 4 years, 8 months after Mouth & Rachel's wedding_

_'Get out.' Peyton opened the door, her hand shaking._

_'Peyton, I need to know, I have a right to know... he's mine isn't he, ours... from that day...' Lucas gripped her hand firmly._

_'Let go of me,' she said gritting her teeth. Lucas dropped her hand, he looked shocked – hurt even._

_'Peyton... I just, I just want to know. If he's mine...' he said._

_'He's not.' she interrupted._

_She looked up into his blue eyes – those very same blue eyes that had saved her so many times, knowing that now she was letting go of the possibility of him ever saving her again. But she had to, for everyone's sake. In those eyes she saw what she had seen the night Brooke broke up with him, the night he lost Keith, the night she had walked out of his room, scared to say goodbye. Out loud. Hurt. Hurt that she had caused, she and she alone. And the recognition of that fact was eating her up inside._

_'He's not Lucas.'_

_She looked up at the blonde stranger in front of her, ignoring the sound of her own heart._

_'Please leave.'_

_The sound of her own heart, breaking._

_**Ring. Ring. Ring.**_

_'I know he's ours, mine.'_

_'Lucas...'_

_'Peyton you have to let me see him...'_

_'Lucas I'm going to ask you to hang up the phone...'_

_'Peyton no! Listen to me...'_

_'You left Lucas... you left again and again and again...Once with Brooke, then again after we...'_

_'You wouldn't answer my phone calls. I called everyday Peyton, everyday. I thought you chose Nathan. It hurt me too much staying here seeing you with my brother! '_

_'I did, Lucas, I chose Nathan. You were right there.'_

_'But the boy, he's mine. I know he is. I can see it!'_

_'Nathan is his father. That's all he ever needs to know.'_

_'Peyton don't do this...Don't turn me into...don't turn me into...Dan...'_

_'Goodbye Lucas. Good bye.'_


	7. aftermath of the wedding B

Hey i realize that the past few chapters especially chapter 6 has been pretty confusing. If you'd go back n read it it should b pretty clear but anyway just to clear up some doubts...hope this is better!

Okay here goes. **Summary**:

Haley never came back until 3 tours later.

When Haley finally came back Nathan couldn't forgive her.

Lucas left after season 3 with Brooke because she was pregnant. Lucas left on bad terms with Nathan cos Nathan didn't want to take Haley back.

Some complications arose (more on that later) Lucas had to stay with Brooke for a long time, they moved around, lost contact with Peyton.

Brooke miscarried.

Haley left again for music when she couldn't gain Nathan's trust.

Nathan broke his leg and stumbled into depression.

Peyton and Nathan found each other, got married.

Lucas came back.

**The Wedding (of Routh)**

Peyton ignored Lucas for 3 months.

Lucas left Tree Hill again because of Peyton.

Peyton's pregnant.

Lucas came back after 4 years, sees Shane for the 1st time.

Argues with Peyton about Shane.

When Shane is 10, Peyton falls pregnant again with Nathan's child. (more on this chapter)

Lucas asks Nathan if he can see Shane.

Lucas decides to leave again because of Peyton and not being able to see Shane.

And so as they say... the rest is history...

**aftermath of the wedding (part b)**

Chapter 7

_Timeframe: Approximately 10 years after Mouth & Rachel's wedding_

'Ouch,' Peyton said allowing Nathan to bandage up her fingers.

'Careful...' Nathan comforted.

'Oh for goodness sake stop "ouching" you wimp!'

Peyton looked in front of her, there delicately balanced on the coffee table, swinging her legs lazily was...

Her alter-ego.

Or whatever.

Peyton gave her a withering look.

'What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?' she mocked. 'Or... we wouldn't want dear perfect hubby to think we're mad now would we?'

'Let me go get some more ointment,' Nathan said standing up. 'Gimme a sec.'

Peyton smiled as her husband exited the room.

'What are you doing here!' she hissed.

'The usual, tormenting you,' she drawled lazily. The annoying angel leaned back upon the glass coffee table. She rubbed her fingers over her own lips as if contemplating. 'So Lucas is leaving again huh? Ever think... maybe the reason he keeps leaving is 'cos of... you??'

Nathan hurried back in with a bottle of ointment and a pack of cotton wool. Coinciding with his entrance was the disappearance of the "angel".

'Thankfully,' Peyton breathed.

'What was that honey?' he asked, applying the ointment on the cotton wool.

'Thanks!' Peyton said brightly.

-------------- end of scene ----------------

_**director: cut! That was great. Thanks everybody. See you tomorrow.**_

_'Thankfully!' Hilarie sighed. 'At last that's over!' _

_James laughed, putting down the fake ointment bottle and pulling off his extra hair side burn pieces. 'Is acting with me really such a drag?'_

_Hilarie giggled and pulled off the prosthetic belly piece. 'No way James, you're fun to mess around with! Makes a change anyway... I just hate having this.' _

_She threw the prosthetic belly aside on the sofa. _

_'I so do not suit playing a pregnant lady.'_

_'You can say that again,' Chad said walking in. He was dressed in a brown suit with a mustache, all ready to play "40 something Lucas". 'You look like you're uncomfortable with your pregnancy... like you don't fit in your own skin.'_

_'You try feeling like you fit into that!' Hilarie argued, pointing at the plastic piece in front of them. 'And besides Mr Chad, haven't you read the script?' She gave him a playful poke in the chest. 'I'm supposed to be uncomfortable in my pregnant skin since getting knocked up by you 10 years ago!'_

_'Okay okay,' Chad raised up his hands in mock surrender. 'You're the pro-actress here. I'm the guy with 2-facial-expression-acting remember?'_

_'Okay okay! I'm gonna leave the merry couple to fight it out alright?' James teased, more to Hilarie than Chad. He gave Chad a pat on the back. 'Don't kill each other.. See ya tomorrow guys.'_

_'See ya,' they echoed in unison._

_Chad and Hilarie paused in silence for a moment, then they looked at each other and laughed. _

_Chad watched as she laughed, her pretty blonde curls shaking as her head moved. He kept reminding himself not to stare. _

_Stop staring._

_Stop..._

_'What?!' Hilarie asked._

_'Huh?' he said._

_'You were staring at me.. have I got spinach in my teeth or something?' she said licking her teeth._

_'No, no... I was just... nothing, nothing,' he said, turning around and running his fingers through his hair nervously._

_Smooth Chad, real smooth._

_How come he could be so confident with all the other girls and one shake of her pretty blonde head and he was all stuttering._

_He didn't used to be like this._

_He was fine in season 1, season 2, season 3..._

_Well maybe the last few episodes of season 3..._

_'Chad! Earth to Chad!' she said waving a hand vigorously in front of his face._

_'Huh?' he said, shaken from his reminiscing. _

_'I was just saying... don't you think this storyline is so bad?' she demanded._

_'Oh! Erm... yeah... yeah I guess?' he fumbled for the proper response._

_'You guess??' she cried. 'Of course it is! I mean first of all they kill the Naley plot, which was the best plot in the whole show. I mean, they made us all believe in the possibility of true love!'_

_'Yeah...' he agreed._

_'Secondly, they make Peyton pregnant – twice! Does she look like she can be a suitable mother figure? She's nice but she's not exactly got it all together! Haley would be so much better...even Brooke!'_

_'Yeah...'_

_'And thirdly..' she paused and stomped over to the costume department. After a few seconds of rummaging she pulled out a brown straight-haired wig raised it dramatically in the air._

_'This is what they've got me for the next episode, episode 4 onwards.'_

_Chad chuckled quietly, more at her cuteness than her silly little rantings._

_'You can laugh!' she said, throwing down the wig with vigor. 'You get to keep your hair.'_

_She sighed heavily and slumped in the nearest director's chair._

_Chad watched her from a distance, hiding in the safety of the absence of camera lights. He was glad she was too immersed in her own "tragedy" to notice him. She was moping in a sweet manner, arms crossed, lips pursed, playing with her fringe. He swallowed deeply, put his hands in his pockets. Taking a deep breath, he stepped out of the darkness and spoke._

_'I showed Mike my version for the ending..' _

_'You did!' she cut in. As quickly as she had saddened she was all a picture of jubilation and ecstacy again. 'That's great! Good on you buddy!' She gave him a hearty pat on the back._

_Buddy? He thought miserably to himself._

_'That's wonderful!' she continued. 'Haven't read the original version yet but...'_

_'Well we don't know if he'll take it yet...' he said hesitantly. _

_'He will, he will!' she said. She smiled mischievously. 'Oooh.. Chad-2-expression actor becomes deep scriptwriter...'_

_'Cut it out,' he said ruffling her hair._

_'Do not, touch the hair,' she said with mock severity._

_There was a cheeky twinkle in her eyes._

_'Okay gotta go!' she said brightly. 'See ya!'_

_Chad watched her lithe figure skip merrily out of the studio. Her pleated skirt bounced as she ran, her hair flowing with the wind._

_'See ya...'_

_**season ?? episode 4**_

_**cast:**_

_**Nathan Scott as played by James**_

_**Peyton Scott as played by Hilarie**_

_**Shane Scott as played by (child actor)**_

_**Beth Scott as played by (infant)**_

_Timeframe: Approximately 10 and a half years after Mouth & Rachel's wedding_

'Peyton, Lucas sent you a letter today,' Nathan said walking into the dining room. He was holding up a crumpled letter and envelope in his left hand.

'I thought I told you to tell him not to bother us...' Peyton began putting away the dishes.

'It wasn't for _us_,' Nathan interrupted. 'It was for you.'

Peyton paused, she placed a dish carefully on the kitchen top. She turned her body around slowly to face her husband.

'I don't understand what you mean.'

'Shall I read it for you?' Nathan asked sarcastically. Opening up the crumpled piece of paper he cleared his throat dramatically. 'Dearest Peyton, I need to see you one more time before I leave. We need to sort things out...I need to see you again, not just like last time...'

Peyton threw the towel on the floor and walked past him roughly, 'I don't need to listen to this...'

Nathan reached over and grabbed her arm, 'Last time? Last time Peyton?'

'He means at the wedding, Nathan that hurts...' she said quickly trying to free herself.

Nathan held on tighter until her arm was red with his finger marks. 'Mouth and Rachel's wedding?? That was 10 years ago Peyton!! You expect me to believe...'

'That's all he means!' she cried. 'I haven't seen him ever. He just means at the wedding...at the wedding, and it was nothing... it doesn't... it didn't mean anything...'

Now she was crying, her voice coming out in heavy sobs. She pulled her arm away as Nathan let her go in a half-dazed fashion.

Peyton ran up the stairs into the nursery. Beth was crying, probably woken up by the noise. She picked her up and hushed her hugging her little body to her own.

'Peyton...' Nathan called.

'Nathan that's all he meant, if you don't believe what I said I have nothing to...'

'You expect me to believe you have no feelings for Lucas?' his voice boomed through the house. Beth's cries got louder as Peyton paced up and down the nursery. 'Hush baby, hush...' she soothed.

'Every single time there's the slightest mention of him you go berserk! Don't deny it. I can see it in your face,' he ranted. 'For 10 years Peyton 10 years!'

'Don't, don't...'

'Don't what!' he challenged. 'I've been understanding... all these years Peyton. I'm not a jealous man, but there's a limit to how much I can understand...'

'You don't!' she shrieked. Suddenly Beth went silent, as if she too was stunned by her usually collected Mother's outburst. Peyton's voice faltered to a whisper. 'You don't understand... you can't...you can't...'

'Why can't I...' Nathan said, crumbling. 'Teach me... teach me how to...'

'I can't,' she cried. 'I don't need you to... to understand. I just need you to not _judge_ me. You haven't been where I've been... so don't judge me. Not you Nathan, not you.'

Peyton walked back and forth comforting Beth, letting her own tears drop as calmly as she could.

'You, you... you never had what I had Nathan. Haley left, and when she came back you and I weren't together! You didn't want her! When Lucas came back, I... I had to _choose_ you. And I did, I _chose _you Nathan. I chose you. You haven't had that kind of choice! So you don't know!'

'I wanted to marry you... I could have lived alone but I chose you, I chose you too Peyton,' he argued.

There was a silence, except for Beth's heavy breathing.

'Not the way I did,' Peyton insisted.

Nathan paused as if contemplating the gravity of his wife's statement. He looked around at himself, his house. His wife comforting their crying baby and at the corner of the room's doorway, a small shadow of a figure. A blonde boy with watery green eyes, hanging timidly onto the door of the nursery, staring up at the man he looked up to more than anyone in the world.

'I'm sorry,' he said at last. He walked over and kissed his wife and baby on the forehead. He went to the doorway and knelt down to the ten year old, who suddenly looked much younger than his years.

'I'm sorry,' he repeated to Shane. Shane nodded and Nathan took his hand and led him back to his room to put him to bed.

Peyton held her daughter long after she had fallen asleep in her arms. She listened to the soothing sound of her husband's voice calming down her son, explaining to him and finally the sound of them both falling asleep.

Her daughter, her beautiful baby girl. The joy of her life.

Her children.

Her family.

At the corner of her eye she saw a black wing at the window panes.

'Not tonight,' she whispered turning her back to the window as she rocked her baby gently. 'Not tonight.'

hey! Did you see that one coming? The cast part. I hope I haven't offended anyone but it's a string of the story I wanna continue with. Please continue to give your honest feedback!


	8. and then there was 2

Hey guys I decided to re-write these chapters w/o waiting for my com to fix… so here it goes.

Kalligator its kinda both!! ) Read on to see, it'll become clearer midnightXwishesXunheard expected the unexpected. D Okay for this chapter I agree that fanfic shouldn't really add in extra characters but these were really necessary so hope you enjoy it.

**and then there was 2**

'Okay and before the bell rings I want everyone to think of one word to describe yourself.'

Shane Scott stared down at his notebook absent-mindedly. One word to describe himself? Hmmm..

This was a tricky one.

He could quite easily think of words to describe his family.

Dad – Leader

Mum – Sweet

Beth – Baby (or of course future pro-athlete star!)

But him…

Average?

Ordinary?

Your general next door Mr-nice-guy?

Riiinnnnnnggggg 

Saved by the bell.

Nobody likes being the nice guy / teachers' pet all the time. Admitting it, even to yourself, was kinda rough.

Shane stuffed his books into his bag and pushed his chair in, sometimes it felt odd not belonging to the usual classifications in high school. Jock, prom king/queen, loner, nerd… nope he didn't seem to fit well into any of the categories. He was just… Shane.

Shane Scott.

Nathan Scott's son.

'Shane Scott?? As in Nathan Scott's son? The Nathan Scott? Who brought us to our first championships in over 10 years? Come on then boy let's see you shoot some hoops!' 

Said Coach Smith in 6th grade, Coach Walters in 7th grade, Coach Ryan in 8th grade.

And then the response, after he complied.

'_Ohh…..'_

Shane didn't care much, he always reminded himself that it could be worse, his dad could be still coaching the high school team. Fortunately he requested for a transfer the year before Shane graduated from middle school. Just in time for Nathan to usher Beth into the middle school girls' basketball league and watch her rocket to Tree Hill fame. That girl probably could bounce a ball before she could walk. Shane liked to tease her that he watched her at 2 as she practically shot three pointers from her stroller.

Shane loved his little sister and he never had the slightest inclination to become a basketball star, but…

Every now and then, he wished he could take a break from being the residential nice, normal, boring guy.

'Shane! Yoo hoo Shane!' Mrs. Peters called him back as he walked out the class.

'Aha.. nice guy duty calls,' thought Shane reluctantly.

'Yes Mrs. Peters?' he said outwardly with a bright smile.

'There's a new girl coming to join our class,' Mrs. Peters said. 'I was wondering if you could help her out, show her around, make her feel welcome in the school?'

Oh great. 'Of course I will Mrs. Peters,' Shane replied.

'I knew I could count on you Shane, you're such a kind-hearted young man,' she said smiling at him from over her thick-rimmed spectacles.

'Umm…so where is the girl?' Shane asked, a trifle impatiently. How long was this little school tour going to take? Hopefully only a couple of minutes…

'Oh yes of course!' Mrs. Peters said hurriedly. 'She's over there, near the principal's office. She's the one in blue.'

Shane took a deep breath and walked ahead. He pulled up his bag and tried to search for a girl in blue.

There was only one girl in blue outside the principal's office – in a soft dress the color of forget-me-nots stood a tall, slender girl clutching a brown file. She had long straight hair the color of chestnuts and a creamy complexion with a slight rosy flush on her cheeks. As he walked closer and waved, the girl looked up at him through her deep brown eyes. Her eyelashes fluttered nervously behind her thin-rimmed spectacles and she and gave a shy smile.

'Hiya,' she said softly.

Shane gulped down in his self-consciousness deeply.

'Hi,' Shane said.

Being the nice guy just got a whole lot better.

----------------end of scene-----------

_**knock knock**_

'_Hills?' Chad poked his head through the dressing room door._

'_Yup?' Hilarie replied flipping through a magazine with one hand and chewing on a stick of sour apple candy with the other._

'_Which script do you like better, my ending or the original?' he asked._

'_Yours,' she said, not looking up._

'_Okay great,' Chad closed the door, thought for a moment and then knocked again. _

'_Hills?' he pushed open the door slightly. _

'_Yup?' she said, flopping on the sofa still engrossed in her magazine._

'_Have you even read the original?' _

'_Nope.'_

'_I didn't think so.'_

_Chad closed the door, chuckled to himself and walked off to his dressing room._

---------------------------------------

'I thought you said we wouldn't get wet!' Eugenia shouted over the sound of rain pounding in her eardrums.

'I didn't think we would!' Shane shouted back. He pulled his denim jacket up over his ears. 'Where's your house again?'

'Over there!' she shouted. 'The one with the white fence!'

'Okay!'

They sprinted across the park to Eugenia's house and collapsed onto the living room floor heavily. Eugenia could feel the rain soaking through her clothes to her skin but she was laughing so hard that she didn't feel cold. In her whole life, she had never met anyone quite like Shane Scott. Then again, hanging around musicians for three-quarters of your life didn't give you much variety.

'You need a towel?' she asked.

'Umm yes? A towel might be a good idea…' Shane kidded.

'Cut it out…' Eugenia said shoving him playfully. Shane laughed as he watched her scurry up the stairs. The past few weeks had felt to him like a new chapter of his life, Eugenia was so fresh, so uplifting, so different. Everything about her was like reading a new page of some storybook that never ended, but just got more intriguing every single day. He'd had a few odd girlfriends before, but none like her.

'Hang on a sec Shane,' she called down from the second storey. 'I can't find where my godfather keeps the fluffy towels.'

'Normal towels will be fine,' he shouted. 'I'm going to your basement okay?'

Without waiting for a response he walked carefully down the creaking stairs to the basement. The narrow passageway was rather dark and he felt along the sides of the wall for a light switch. When he reached the bottom, he finally found one. The whole basement, which was a rather large room, twice the size of the living room, lit up in white light brightness.

For a moment Shane stood there, stunned beyond words.

'So you found my secret huh?' Eugenia said coming down behind him with 2 thick towels.

'You… you sculpt?' Shane asked, shocked.

'Yep…' Eugenia said slowly. 'I guess that'd make me a sculptor huh?' She laughed uneasily. 'I kinda don't like people to see it…'

'I'm sorry…' Shane said softly reaching over to touch her arm.

'It's okay…' she cut in. 'I guess you're not just _people_ anyway…'

'No it's just that…' Shane said looking around him. 'They're so beautiful…'

Shane let his eyes drift around the room – there were dark ones, light ones, miniature wax figurines of people, a stone rabbit, a tall vase, a carved apple. Finished ones, unfinished ones and each one felt so full of life somehow, like as if she had poured her very soul into the lines and crevices in every piece of art work.

'They're remarkable,' he breathed. 'They're just wonderful.'

Eugenia beamed like a little girl. She had never let anyone see her work, ever since she'd begun 6 years ago. But he really liked it, she could see it in his green eyes.

'Will you do me?' he asked suddenly.

'You?' she felt slightly taken aback. 'I… I don't know…'

'Please… come on Eugenia?' he gave her a pleading look those puppy-dog eyes.

'Oh no… I couldn't…' she said.

'Please? Please please please please please?' he urged.

'I….'

She looked up at him hesitantly, wondering how to find those many hard words which she was itching to say.

'Okay…' she said at last.

Reluctantly she pulled out two chairs and motioned him to sit down on one of them. Her art felt so personal to her, showing someone it was one thing – but having someone there while she did it?

She shook her head to herself and tried to focus.

'Close your eyes,' she ordered. Using her fingers she gently felt for his face shape, his jaw line, the tilt of his chin. Using her other hand she pulled over a piece of soft clay and began to push in lines with her adept fingers. However she felt unsatisfied.

She pulled off her spectacles impatiently and closed her eyes tightly, trying again, trying to concentrate enough to see his facial structure in her mind's eyes.

Squinting Shane opened his eyes a little to peek at what Eugenia was doing. He saw her soft face, pursing her lips in concentration, a cute furrow around her brows. He leaned forward and kissed her.

Eugenia felt her heart leap beneath her, her eyes fluttered open as she opened her lips slightly.

They pulled away a little, just looking at each other.

'Eugenia I…'

'Shane I…'

They laughed slightly.

'Eugenia…'

'Shane…'

'Shane,' Eugenia said at last. 'I have something to tell you…'


	9. a few of my favorite things

**a few of my favorite things**

'Yes?' Shane said.

'There's a reason why I live with my godfather…' she said slowly, clutching onto his fingers. 'And why he's so overly protective of me…'

'I thought it's 'cos you ran away from home,' he said with a laugh.

But Eugenia wasn't laughing.

'My parents died in a plane crash when I was 10,' she said softly. 'I don't have any other family. My godfather barely lets me out of his sight 'cos he promised my mother he'd look after me. '

Shane was shocked, to a young man like him living a fairly good life, such a tragedy was unthinkable.

'I'm… Eugenia… I'm so sorry,' he said pulling her into his arms.

'It's okay,' she replied bravely. 'I just thought you should know, you know.'

They were silent for a few moments.

After a long while Eugenia finally spoke.

'What was it you were going to say?' she asked.

'Oh… erm.. never mind,' he said feeling his ears going slightly red.

'No what was it, tell me,' she urged.

'I… I wanted to ask if you'd wanna be my girlfriend?' he said looking up at her, in a half-anxious, half-eager fashion.

Eugenia couldn't help herself, she giggled at the inappropriateness of their two comments

'Okay Shane, I'll be your girlfriend,' she winked in a girlish manner

Shane fought back the desire to punch his hand in the air and scream 'YES!'

----------------end of scene--------

'_Hey Hills,' Chad called. 'You want some pizza?'_

'_Do I want some pizza!' she shouted from her dressing room. 'Of course I want some pizza!' There was a silence as Chad pulled out the huge boxes._

'_What kind is it?' she yelled._

'_Pepperoni!'_

'_Wait for me!!!'_

_Hilarie came running out of her dressing room still wearing her "Eugenia" shoes. Blue flats with white ribbons. Chad suppressed the urge to laugh out loud, seeing Hilarie in those sweetie-pie shoes was definitely worth a few bucks. He secretly deliberated over whether he should take a snapshot with his handphone camera._

'_Is there a fork?' Hilarie asked wrinkling up her nose at the gooey cheese._

'_Excuse me?' Chad was stunned back to reality by her odd request. 'Did you just say a fork? Who eats pizza with a fork??'_

'_I do,' she argued. 'I hate getting my hands all yucky.'_

'_Then how does Peyton eat pizza in her usual slobery fashion?' he teased._

'_She does with a good deal of cleaning up afterwards,' she argued back. 'Honestly its one of the worst parts of the role.'_

_Chad laughed as Hilarie dug out a napkin and proceeded to eat her pepperoni slice while holding it, she chewed with a satisfied smile on her face._

'_How ladylike can you get?' he teased._

_She stuck out her tongue at him fiercely._

'_Apparently not very,' he muttered under his breath with a patronising smile. 'So what else don't you like about it?'_

'_The role?' she asked. Chad nodded. 'I like it generally,' she said thoughtfully. 'Just some parts are difficult that's all.'_

'_Like what?' he said._

_Hilarie screwed up her nose in a cute fashion._

'_You first.'_

'_I think…' Chad said. 'I think Shane got it really. It's hard always being the nice guy, you know? Like you can't make mistakes and if you do you're not that worthy a guy anymore? I mean everyone should be able to make mistakes right?'_

'_I think mine would be the art,' she said firmly._

'_The art?' Chad frowned. He crossed his arms in front of him and was clearly not satisfied._

'_The art's hard alright,' she retorted smacking him on the arm. 'I mean, to get that **deep**, to do stuff like that. Peyton has to dig somewhere real deep to be that "deep" all the time. Sometimes I can't get it, I can't get that thorough into my own soul. I… I just can't.' Hilarie shrugged and took another slice._

_Chad eyed her for a few moments and then looked away, deep in thought._

-----------------------------

'Favorite fruit?' Shane asked wandering around the trees.

'Strawberries… I love the smell…' she smiled swaying gently on the park's swing.

'Favorite color?'

'Blue… and sometimes pink.'

'Favorite time?'

'Hmmm… not sure about that one…' she said scratching her head.

'You're supposed to say being with me,' he hinted, poking her in the side.

'Oh I see… I'm sorry,' she said. 'Umm… being with Shane. I mean, I _so_ love Shane Scott.'

'Cool…' he said in mock nonchalance. They both laughed.

'Don't you think its weird your dad and my godfather have the same surname?' she asked suddenly.

'Not really…' he argued. 'Scott's a pretty common name.' Shane walked over to push her on the swing. 'I know!' he said. 'Favorite weird thing?'

'Favorite weird thing?' she protested, turning around to eye him. 'I dunno! Teddy bears??'

'Ooooh.. kinky…' he teased.

'Shut up!' she cried.

'What about you?' she said. 'Favorite fruit?'

'Bananas.'

'Color?'

'Blue… dark blue.'

'Sport?'

'Hmmm… swimming.'

'Not basketball?' she asked quizzically.

Shane breathed heavily. 'Nope… not basketball…'

'How come you don't play? I mean since your Dad's such a star and all….'

'You've been her three weeks and you know that?'

'News travels fast,' she shrugged.

'I can't play…' he sighed. 'I have a heart disorder. I got it from my grandfather.'

'Oh, I'm sorry,' she said quickly.

'Don't be,' he smiled reaching over for her hand. 'I wouldn't want all that pressure of achieving anyway. Beth can do that…'

'I'd love to meet your family,' she smiled.

'Yeah, yeah,' he said. 'That'd be great. My parents, they'd just love you.'

------ end of scene -----

'_Favorite fruit?' Chad asked spinning her around on the desk chair in "Nathan's" study._

'_Cherries,' Hilarie replied firmly._

'_Sport?' _

'_Tennis.'_

'_Color?'_

'_Red and gold.'_

_He turned her around to face him. _

'_What about yours?' she smiled._

'_Tennis, green apples and black…. Or dark dark blue,' he said with a grin._

'_Green apples?' she raised an eyebrow._

'_Only green,' he grinned. 'Gotten over the script yet... we are 8 episodes into the season?'_

'_No way!' she cried. 'I thought bringing back in a birth mother who we never knew existed was bad, bring keith back as your "guardian angel" was worse, but you and me…. Coming back as romeo & Juliet style reincarnations of ourselves?? Now that's an all-time low!'_

_Chad laughed heartily. 'Rushing off for TRL?' he said as she started packing up._

'_Yep,' she smiled. 'See ya…'_

_Hilarie skipped off the set and towards the door, as she reached there she turned around to wave. She saw Chad sitting on the desk chair, obviously thinking. She was about to call out when something stopped her – a slight increase in her heart beat, a slight flutter on the inside of her. She watched him swing around, like a kid in some ways and almost giggled to herself. _

_Suddenly he looked up, breaking the moment. _

_She stumbled out of the door hurriedly without saying goodbye. _


	10. fiction n reality

_**fiction and reality**_

'I got you something…' Eugenia said jumping up behind Shane and putting her arms around his neck. It had always been her favorite celebration of the year, in her heart she hoped that Shane liked it the same way she did. It reminded of her parents, running through the house like they were just kids, her Dad with his guitar crooning silly love songs, her mum squealing in pink pajamas.

It seemed like a lifetime ago, and now here she was with something, she wasn't quite sure what, in her heart, but it sure felt like love.

'Oh thanks Eugenia,' he said as he turned around to face her.

'Here,' she beamed up at him passing him the small blue box. She waited for a few moments to see his response. He smiled at her once again and paused for a few moments.

'I gotta get going to class,' he said in a carefree, even nonchalant manner.

'Oh…' she stammered. 'Okay…'

Eugenia wandered over to her locker with a crestfallen look on her face. As much as she told herself it didn't really matter, she couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. Wasn't it tradition for couples to buy something for each other on Valentine's Day? Was it really so different in Tree Hill?

She glanced around the hallways, couples everywhere were hugging, pecking each other on the cheeks. Gosh even the teachers looked happily.

A deep pang of disappointment tugged at her heart,

Maybe he hadn't really meant to be seriously attached, maybe it was just a joke that day in the basement.

She pulled her locker door open roughly, with a heavy heart.

And inside, she received a huge shock. She gasped.

The entirety of her locker was covered with blue and pink paper hearts and hanging from the center was a series of shiny silver and gold pieces and a string of tiny brown bears. Along the wall of her locker were snapshot photographs they had taken with their handphones, a row of black and white passport photographs they had taken one Saturday. Right smack in the middle was a mirror with the words 'I so love Shane Scott' scribbled across the middle in black ink. Along the sides were dozens of scratch-and-sniff strawberry cutouts. But the best thing of all was in the middle of her whole locker, stacked on top of her books was squashed a huge red bear with a gold pendant hung around his neck.

'In Tree Hill there's kinda a tradition,' Shane whispered in her ear from behind her. 'On Valentine's Day, we like to pimp our "girlfriend's" lockers.

So Eugenia did the only reasonable thing, she turned around and gave her boyfriend a fantastic kiss on the lips.

------- end of scene ---------

'_Hilarie? Where are you?' Chad walked through the basement set, stepping over a few oddly placed lumps of wax._

'_I'm in Peyton's bedroom,' she called._

_Chad walked briskly through the sets and opened the door to the dark red room. As he did so, he felt an odd sense of mixed nostalgia that were becoming extremely frequent. He usually only got it during certain "Lucas-Peyton" scenes with Hilarie. James liked to tease him about it, that he was becoming an actor with some "depth of emotion" for a change. _

_He usually ignored him but especially in this room, he often felt that he'd acted as Lucas for so long some of the memories in this red room became intertwined with his own. Sometimes the emotional process went through seemed to parallel events in his life. And most scary of all, sometimes the line between fiction and reality didn't seem so clear._

'_What ya' doing in here,' he asked standing at the door. Hilarie was looking down on the bed absorbed in a few pieces of paper._

'_Trying to get inspiration for my next scene, it's eating me up...' she murmured busily._

'_I'm so glad you got Mike to write Peyton's artwork back in by the way.' She looked up for the first time and gave him a smile. 'Peyton didn't feel like Peyton without her artwork.'_

'_No problem,' he said casually as he stepped over at sat down on the bed opposite her. How many scenes had they acted in here, like this so close together? It felt like a million._

'_I can't get all the emotions right Chad,' she murmured, deeply engrossed._

'_You'll get it,' he said softly watching the curves of her face move. He was so close to her he could smell the fruity scent of her shampoo, see the golden strands of her hair move as she moved her head, feel her rosy skin close to his._

'_I don't know I…' she looked up and straight into his eyes._

_He leaned in his lips almost grazing hers._

_Almost._

'_I… I have to go,' Hilarie stood up suddenly scooping up the pieces of paper with her. 'I'll see you tomorrow…'_

_Leaving Chad there alone in the middle of the set, wondering if for him **that** line between fiction and reality, really existed at all anymore._


	11. sunshine before the storm

Chapter 9

'Psst...'

A stone hit the wall of Eugenia's bedroom with a thud.

'Psst... Eugenia! Eugenia!'

Eugenia groggily got out of bed and stuck her head out of the window.

'Shane!' she called down. 'What're you doing here! It's like 6 o'clock in the morning!'

She rubbed her eyes and tried to focus without her glasses at the blonde boy standing on her front lawn.

'I just wanted to say... good morning!' he cried out with a goofy grin.

'You came all this way... to tell me _that_?' she laughed.

'Yep!' he said stretching out his arms and yawning. 'Well, I'll see ya' in school...'

Eugenia scratched her head and giggled.

'I'll see ya' in school then.'

She reached up, looking towards the morning sky.

So this is what it feels like, to belong.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

They were silent for a few moments, feeling each other breathe, just being happy in each other's presence.

There was a loud door slam.

'Did you hear that?' Eugenia said jumping up from her position on Shane's lap

'Yep that one I heard,' he replied jumping up as well.

'Quick! You gotta get out of here!' she called running over to open the back door of the basement. She stuffed an umbrella in his hands.

'Quick!' she called practically pushing him out of the door.

'Eugenia?' he called sticking his head back in the doorway.

'What!' she asked urgently.

'I love you,' he said.

She looked at him, with no words to express how she really felt.

How she wish she could tell him how he made her world come alive, how he left her breathless with each kiss, gasping for air - in a good way. How her heart felt so full she could finally let go of the emptiness in her soul.

'Eugenia!' a loud deep-throated voice echoed from the top of the stairway.

She turned around and shut the door behind her.

'Hello Lucas,' she smiled innocently up at him.

And there, standing on the top of the stairs stood Lucas Scott.


	12. its all coming back to me now

Chapter 10

Lucas Scott watched this tall brunette girl walk around the basement clearing up. After all these years he still didn't feel that he was good enough to take care of her. The six years he had done that had been interesting years – in many ways Lucas felt that she had grown up herself, while all he had done was give out the allocated allowance every month.

Ever since they had moved to Tree Hill he had felt especially inadequate as a "parent". And the way he resolved that inadequacy was through a tad bit of overprotectiveness.

'Who was that?' his voice came out a little louder and fiercer than he intended.

'Just a friend...' she said smiling.

'Anything I should know about...' somehow Lucas got the sense that this line was supposed to come out as a caring confidant, but in his mouth it came out more like an army order. He sighed inwardly. How _was_ he supposed to do this?

_'How am I supposed to do this Hales!' Lucas squealed laughing._

_'Just hold her!' a young lady with red streaked hair and metal bracelets laughed in reply. 'She's not going to bite you!'_

_Haley smiled as Lucas bobbed her daughter up and down in an awkward fashion._

_'Not hard anyway...' she added with a grin. 'She just got her 1st tooth yesterday.'_

_'Oh first teeth eh...' his mouth hanging open. 'Ooooohh...'_

_'Which reminds me,' Haley said walking over and holding her little girl's hands. 'You have a word for Luke right?'_

_The little girl with her mother's hair and sparkly eyes pointed her little plump palms at Lucas saying 'Luk-ey!'_

_Lucas laughed and handed her back to her mother. 'She's adorable...' he said._

_'And I think I missed out the self-intro..' she smiled sheepishly. 'Lucas Scott, meet Eugenia James Keller... named after two of the best people I know...'_

_'Haley James!' Lucas shrieked. 'All I did to hide that name and you...'_

_'Stuck it on my daughter forever, right baby?' she said triumphantly blowing kisses in her daughters face._

_'Me eu-gee-na!' the infant said in glee. 'You Lu-key!'_

_'Oh no...' Lucas said slapping his hand against his forehead._

_**Ring Ring Ring.**_

_'Hello Lucas Scott speaking.'_

_'Hey best friend, ever thought of giving us as ring now and then?'_

_'Hales! Sorry! But the phone goes both ways right... hows the new album...'_

_'It's going alright, how's your book? Still getting raving reviews?'_

_'(laughs) Nah... trying to think of something new actually...'_

_'About time!'_

_'How's the little princess? Keller?'_

_'They're both doing okay... Eugenia just celebrated her 4th birthday yesterday... when you gonna come visit us again?'_

_'I'll try Hales I will...'_

_'I heard you're going back to Tree Hill.'_

_(pause)_

_'Yup, where'd you hear that from?'_

_'Karen.'_

_'Oh.'_

_'Hey Luke, I know that things have been rough since the last time you went back, but I really hope you can patch things up with Nathan...'_

_'Hales...'_

_'Luke, he was and always will be one of the most precious people in my life, take care of him for me please, now that I no longer can.'_

_'It's complicated Hales.'_

_'Please, Lucas, please.'_

_'I'll try Haley... I promise...'_

_**Door slams shut.**_

_Why didn't he go visit her when he still had the chance?_

_Lucas looked around the cold room and had a strange sense that he was stuck in a dream, that soon he'd wake up, far away from here in his house in Connecticut, writing his 2nd book, living the dry life he'd grown to be accustomed to._

_He'd wake up, not watching the lawyer go through a thick stack of papers that they called the will, not watching a 10 year old girl lean on her nanny's chest crying like she could never cry enough, not trying to understand why he couldn't cry, why his face was flat and dry._

_He'd wake up, and Haley would still be alive._

_'And now that the property has been distributed we move on to a second item, I thank everyone for their patience, especially Miss Keller,' the clear, collected voice of the Haley and Chris' lawyer came through the silence and stillness._

_A few muffled sobs from Eugenia as her nanny hugged her._

_Lucas tried to avert his eyes from her, this girl so close to his pain, yet because of his isolation, he found no way to comfort her. He had chosen to shut himself off from the world, never visiting Haley again after that one time when Eugenia was only a tot. He had chosen to take solace in his writing forgetting all the people that he had love and that, had potential to hurt him. He had chosen that path._

_And now it was too late._

_'In Mrs Keller's will she wrote out a special item,' the lawyer continued speaking. 'In the case of crisis that her daughter, Miss Eugenia James Keller, should be left in the guardianship of her best friend, Mr. Lucas Scott.'_

_An even greater silence filled the courtroom. Eugenia turned around slowly to look at the stranger whom everyone was staring at – a tall blonde man who looked as surprised as she felt. Felt – if she could still feel anything at all that is._

_'Mr Lucas Scott?' the lawyer was waiting for a form of response._

_Lucas fumbled with his collar. Memories of a telephone call flashed through his mind. 'Luke... one of the most precious people in my life, take care of her for me... please... now that I no longer can... Please, Lucas, please... one of the most precious people... I no longer can... Luke... please...precious people... please Lucas...please.'_

_I'll try Haley... I promise...'_

_'Excuse me, Mr. Lucas Scott?' the lawyer was waiting._

_Lucas nodded. 'I agree... I agree, of course.'_


	13. the hardest things we do

Chapter 11

Eugenia hummed as she poured the melted cheese over the macaroni in the silver pot. She felt strange, a little chirpy, lighter than usual in a way. It was Thursday and it was her day to cook dinner. It was part of the agreement when Lucas agreed to move them back to Tree Hill. He would cook dinner on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, she would cook on Tuesdays and Thursdays. On Saturday they would order in and on Sunday they would go to Karen's for lunch. Eugenia liked Karen, she was a nice grandmotherly figure. She cooked much better than either her or Lucas, but that was the agreement. No cooks in Tree Hill.

_'Hey Lukey,' Eugenia said quietly one Sunday evening._

_'Yep,' Lucas replied from his armchair, scribbling notes on a piece of paper._

_'I was thinking... can we go back to Tree Hill?' she asked. She added "back" in awkwardly, considering she'd never been there. But her mother had talked about Tree Hill so much, shown her all the photographs that it felt as if she had been there many times over, and probably had, in her dreams._

_This time Lucas looked up from his work. He didn't say anything, just looked at her in a manner that seemed half-confused and half, strangely enough, scared._

_'You see,' she began. 'Mother always spoke of her days in Tree Hill so fondly. She talked about how she loved the places, the school, the parks and the people. She said that Tree Hill had the best teachers and the best students; that the people she met in Tree Hill had given her the confidence and determination to do what she loved most – sing. She also said that the people there made her the mother, friend and wife that she is.'_

_Eugenia paused after this, almost as if to regain the energy it took for that short speech. She mentally applauded herself for getting through it, it was necessary to make him understand. Somehow she could sense that he wasn't keen on going back to Tree Hill. If mentioning her mother helped, it was worth that nagging ache in her heart sharpening a little for a few hours._

_'Alright then,' he said. 'We'll go back.'_

_Eugenia walked over and hugged him around the neck. 'Thank you,' she whispered._

_Lucas cleared his throat uneasily, it had been the first time she had ever hugged him. 'You know that, you won't be able to have the life you're used to right Eugenia? Tree Hill is a simple town, no cooks or maids.'_

_'I'm fine with that,' she said._

_'Alright then. We'll start making preparations tomorrow.'_

'You seem happy today,' Lucas said laying out the cutlery.

Eugenia just smiled and brought out the plates of macaroni and cheese.

'Anything to do with the boy that left through the basement door?' he grinned.

'Lukey!' Eugenia cried in shock. 'You saw? You didn't say?'

'Ah... so I was right,' he nodded severely. 'I was a teenager too once Miss Keller. I know the sheepish 'I've just had a member of the opposite sex around the house' look.'

Eugenia smiled her sheepish smile and sat down opposite Lucas.

'Well, anything I should know about this young man?' Lucas inquired.

'Well...' Eugenia said playing around with her macaroni. 'He goes to Tree Hill high... and he's very nice.'

'Well that was a helpful observation,' he teased.

'I'll let you meet him soon enough,' she promised. 'May I be excused?'

'You've barely eaten!' he said.

'I'm not really hungry...' she said. She stepped up and touched his arm. 'I have something I really wanna do... do you mind?'

'Alright then,' he sighed with a smile. 'Off you go...'

Eugenia bounced down the stairs into the basement, she paused for a few minutes at the half-formed figure that was meant to be Shane's face. She gave an amused smile before pushing it aside onto a work table. That piece was for another day, today she had some important stuff to do. Carefully she carved out 3 pieces of solid white wax, she pummeled it with her experienced hands to three roundish long figures, making two rather long and one around half the length. She then chiseled in dents around the top of the figures and made some small markings in the three top portions. She worked on them for about three hours before she was tired

She breathed a happy sigh.

'Almost done,' she smiled to herself.

-----end of scene------

_'Hilary?' Chad called from the doors of the studio._

_'I'm over here, in Peyton's old room...' she called. _

_Chad walked through the doors into the studio room with a faint scent of nostalgia. They had spent so many scenes in here, her and him that it almost became a part of his own memory. More than just the "Lucas Scott" part of his mind._

_'What are you always doing in here?' he asked, bewildered._

_Hilarie was sitting upright on the bed, cross-legged. She had re-stuck up several pieces of Peyton's art work and had a record softly playing. In front of her were three pieces of art – Ellie, the dark angel and people always leave. If not for her upright sitting position, Peyton usually lounged or slumped, it could have been a scene from any OTH episode. Hilarie was even dressed like Peyton today, blue jeans and a loose brown spaghetti top with a checked shirt over it. _

_Strange how out of all the girls he's been with, Chad mused. He never found anyone more sexy than Hilarie, no matter what she wore. _

_'Thinking...' she frowned, more to herself than him._

_'At this time?' he said. 'Everyone's left hours ago... the security wants to pack up.' He walked over and sat down in front of her. 'What's bothering ya' Hills?'_

_She didn't respond, she just stared down at the rough sketched in front of her. He thought he'd try again, with a bit of humor. 'Where's ya' head at Peyt?'_

_This time she looked up, rolling her eyes. _

_'I'm thinking of asking Mike to let me re-shoot the last episode, the one where Eugenia starts sculpting,' she said decisively._

_'But that was a great episode,' he argued._

_'But it didn't have the "peyton" feel,' she said. 'I couldn't get it right... it just, just wasn't good enough.'_

_Chad felt slightly thrown off guard. He'd never seen Hilarie like this, she was always bubbly, talkative, making jokes. She had always been the easiest to play "Lucas" with, his scenes with her just flowed out. She was really upset about this. _

_He reached over to touch her cheek, 'you're fine Hills... really.'_

_'I hate her,' she said pulling out the dark angel picture. _

_Chad laughed, leaning in. 'You realize you're her as well as Peyton and Eugenia right?'_

_'I know...' she said. 'I just hate her. She's coming back in the next episode as well.'_

_They were silent for a moment, thinking about the next few episodes, where the drama really set in. Chad felt strangely closer to Hilarie than he had ever been before._

_'I've got to go,' Hilarie said jumping up. 'I just remembered I have to do something. Thanks for the help Chad.'_


	14. old friends and older enemies

**hey guys if you've been missing the 2 MAIN characters of this story - LEYTON you'll be pleased to know theyre back from here on wards ) enjoy**

**Old friends & older enemies**

'Hey Mums who're you talking to?'

Peyton turned away from the glass table to see her 16-year-old son walking in swinging his school bag. He threw it carelessly on the floor on flopped himself on the sofa opposite her.

'Nobody…' she replied. "And no throwing please Shane Scott.'

'Oopsie,' he said picking up his bag and putting it in the study before resuming his seat opposite his mother. Peyton watched him with the same glow of maternal pride that she still found a pleasant surprise. Somehow in her heart of hearts she knew that she hadn't expected to enjoy motherhood. And with each day that went by, she found delight in the fact that her children were everything life wasn't for her. Happiness.

This time her son leaned forward at looked at her biting his lip, as if trying to decide what to say.

'Just spit it out,' Peyton suggested with a teasing smile.

Shane's mouth fell open in a look of surprise.

'I am your mother you know,' Peyton chided. 'I should be able to tell what you're thinking.'

Peyton watched as her son leaned back again, his eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated on what to say. It was a habit he'd developed since he was young, a habit he'd acquired from Nathan. Nathan used to laugh about how Shane seemed to have inherited nothing from him, except that look of concentration.

In conversations like that, Peyton usually laughed uneasily and changed the topic.

'So what is it…' she said.

'There's this girl…' he began shifting his eyes uneasily.

Peyton was so amused that she had to bottle up the laughter that was escaping her throat. Her son, all grown up and getting a steady girlfriend.

'I wanted to invite her for dinner, she's kinda special,' he said. 'But you can't tell Beth, she'll tease me non-stop about it…'

'Can't tell me what??' a tiny dot of a girl burst into the living room like a spitball of fire in a swimming costume, dripping water all over the carpet.

'Oops gotta go!' Shane said quickly running up the stairs.

'What is it Shane what is it!!!' Beth cried scrambling up the stairs after him.

'Tell your friend to come over tomorrow Shane, and Beth stop disturbing your brother!' Peyton called out.

'Okay!' they both shouted back as Peyton heard a door slam and her little girl pounding violently on the door of her brother's room.

Yes, her children definitely brought much happiness into her life, especially Beth. She was the spitting image of Nathan, brown hair, brown eyes, athletic, spunky but the tiniest 6-year-old you've ever seen. What she lost in height she certainly made up for in sound though, she was the loudest 6-year-old Peyton had ever heard. The house was never quiet when she was around and Nathan loved spending time with her – she was his little basketball protégé. More than that she had a certain spirit that Peyton didn't know where she got from, sometimes she liked to think that that spirit would have been in her, if only _life_ didn't happen quite _so_ much to her.

Her son was more silent, thoughtful and kind. His HTM prevented him from ever becoming the basketball star Nathan was but he shone in school in his own way. He was smart, sweet and undoubtedly the nice guy around. If Beth was her joy in life, Shane was her pride and she loved them in a way she never knew she could love anyone else.

Sometimes her only disappointment was that neither of were remotely artistic, neither of them drew, sketched or painted.

But then again, neither did she anymore.

Peyton sighed to herself and resumed her position on the sofa, she seemed to be sitting around a lot lately, just thinking. Maybe it had something to do with a remark she had heard Karen make to Deborah in the cafe make a few months back. Something about Lucas thinking of coming back to Tree Hill. They had hushed up when they caught sight of her and she hadn't had a chance to find out if it was true.

She hadn't seen him around though, so maybe he had changed his mind.

Peyton gave an annoyed scowl at the entrance of a certain shadow at the doorway.

'I'm old,' she said. 'And you're _still_ here?'

'You know there's only one way to get rid of me Sawyer,' the ghoul replied lazily.

'It's Scott…and what way would that be?' Peyton hissed.

'Clear your mind of all those questions we've been having all these years… get the answer to that which has been bothering you for 17 years!!!' she replied dramatically.

'I don't need any answer from you,' Peyton snapped.

'No, no… not from me,' she said smiling. 'Since I'm you anyway. Besides I know the answer to that question.' She began a slow and steady walk around the sofa, the glass table. She was almost parading her confidence, her sureness of herself. Peyton watched her with extreme irritation crawling up on the inside of her. 'But no… you don't need the answer from me… you need it from _him_.'

'What question and what answer are you talking about?' Peyton demanded.

'We both know the question Sawyer dearest,' she drawled lounging across the sofa, her hands behind her head. 'The answer is of course "no".'

'No?'

'No,' she said smiling. 'No, 17 years ago you _didn't_ make the right choice. And there's _nothing_ you can do about it.'

'Get out!' Peyton screamed grasping the empty air fruitlessly. 'Go away! Leave me alone!'


	15. 3 conv, 2 guests, 1 nondinner

**3 conversations, 2 "surprising" guests & 1 non-dinner**

'You nervous?' Nathan squeezed his wife's hand supportively.

'A little,' she whispered back. 'I keep thinking what if she's some high class madam and our little house won't be good enough for her… what if my roast chicken's not roasted enough or roasted too much… and oh dear oh dear what if the pudding doesn't rise!'

'For goodness sakes Mums,' little Beth said turning around. 'I don't know why you're whispering I can hear every word you just said, our house is hardly small we have a swimming pool and…'

Nathan and Peyton looked in shock at the long speech their 6-year-old just gave. It shocked Peyton enough to stop being anxious for a few seconds.

'And, and…' said the little girl.

'They're here,' Nathan announced.

The door swung open and Shane beckoned his girlfriend in shyly. Eugenia pushed her hair away nervously from her eyes. Was it the right decision to wear contacts instead of her usual glasses? Shane had seemed pleased but what if her contacts fell out halfway through the dinner? Was blue too boring a color, was her dress too short to look decent?

Opposite her Peyton was thinking – do I look too unmatronly in red? What if the "girl" thought she was trying to act young for her age? Was her hair messy? Did she still have spaghetti sauce on her hands? Would it be unglamorous to check?

'Mum, Dad this is Eugenia Scott Keller,' Shane said at last. 'Eugenia this is my Mum Peyton, my Dad Nathan, and my baby sister Beth.'

'I'm not a baby!' came a small, annoyed cry.

After that, silence.

It's just a coincidence, she felt her logic saying.

Scott?

Keller?

No connection, whatsoever.

Just a coincidence, a total coincidence.

Nathan was silent? Why wouldn't he say something? To show her it was a coincidence? That it bore no connection to….

'Because he knows that its not,' a voice whispered in her ear.

'Keller?' she murmured faintly.

Shane gave a swift look to his girlfriend before butting in quickly, 'Oh yeah Mums I need to tell you…'

'No Shane,' Eugenia said with a soft smile. 'It's alright… I'm okay with it now…'

Eugenia gave a deep breath and began the story that until now, had hurt to recount.

'You've probably heard of my parents? Haley James Keller and Chris Keller, they were rock stars… but they died in a car crash 6 years ago…'

She paused as if to take a breath. Peyton heard a sharp intake of her husband's breath, a slight shaking in the arm she was holding onto.

'I've been living with my godfather ever since, he was my mum's best friend,' she continued. 'My first name was taken after him.'

You could have cut the tension with a knife. Tentatively Peyton asked another question, not really knowing what possessed her to do so.

'And your second name?'

'My names actually have quite a lot of stories around them,' the girl laughed and Shane laughed with her.

Peyton and Nathan did not laugh.

'My second name was taken after my Mom's high school friend, someone she cared a lot about. Strangely it's the same as my godfather's surname… but my Mom wanted to make sure I knew the difference. Eugenia after Lucas Eugene… Scott after Scott something or something Scott… she didn't say.'

This time Peyton felt her own knees giving way. Nathan dropped his arm and put his hand to his eyes.

'Haley, Haley…' he whispered in a voice so low only his wife could hear.

Shane looked at his parents, bewildered. What was going on? Why were they behaving this way?

'Lucas Eugene?' Peyton trembled as she spoke. What was she doing? Torturing herself??

'Nope,' came a slow drawl. 'You're making sure that what you're about to do is worth it… '

'Lucas Eugene Scott,' she said firmly. 'Maybe you know him? He lives down the street next to the café.'

Nathan had turned around to walk into the dining room. In her mind Peyton knew what he was doing, he was walking past the dining room into his study. He'd sit resolutely on his chair, and play the song he played once a year for 10 years. Once a year on a particular day for 10 years, after the big quarrel they had about Haley and Lucas. Once a year, on a particular day, at a particular time, a particular song.

_Dancing in my wooden shoes… in a wedding gown…._

'Mums? Can we go in for dinner now?' Shane looked into her eyes questioning. He was confused, lost, he didn't understand what was going on.

He couldn't comprehend the gravity of what had just taken place in her life, in his parents' lives.

'I'm sorry Shane,' she said finally looking away from her son's lost expression. 'I think you'll have to take your friend somewhere else for dinner tonight.'

------- end of scene ------

'_Hey Hilarie what you doing in here?' _

_Hilarie looked up from the television screen to see Sophia Bush walk in the small dark room she had been sitting in for the past few hours. She removed her large headphones and smiled hesitantly._

'_Oh just watching some old episodes of One Tree Hill, back in season 1.'_

'_You watch those??' Sophia said, wrinkling up her nose. ' I absolutely detest seeing myself on TV. I never watch any OTH episodes. In fact, the only other cast member I know who does watch them is… Chad.'_

_There was an awkward silence. Hilarie was kind of used to it though. On the series hers and Sophia's character had been the best of friends but in real life, they hadn't really hit it off as well. Strange the difference between fiction and reality. James and Chad had gotten on fine though, but then guys usually seemed to disregard minor differences like personality clashes. A good television screen, a bag of potato chips and some random NBA match was usually enough to start a lifelong friendship._

_Or at least series long._

'_So how's your week been?' Hilarie said smiling brightly while racking her brains to think of appropriate small talk._

'_Cool, kinda glad my episode's done with,' she said. 'Was a little upset about having such a small role in this season when what I'd done apparently created the whole season but oh well.'_

_Awkward silence._

'_I suppose it's better than being killed off right, poor Bethany!' she laughed._

'_Yeah,' she laughed uneasily._

'_And you, wow… playing what is it? 3 roles right? Boy you got a good deal of screen time…'_

'_No wonder you're always so chirpy…'_

_Why did people always assume she was chirpy? Just because she was cheerful most of the time didn't mean she walked around with a balloon on her head. She did feel down or perplexed at times… like now._

_When she really wished she could have Sophia as the best friend Peyton had in Brooke. So she_ _could ask how she could talk about Chad so easily, as if nothing had ever happened between them. How she could trust men again so easily after being hurt the last time? She had hurt right? How could she not have been hurting? How could she…_

'_Well I'd better be going for my date…' Sophia said flashing her pearly whites. 'Good luck on your scene later, try not to burst Chad's eardrum!'_

'_Okay!' Hilarie's voice rang cheerily after her._

'_Ciao!' Sophia called._

_Hilarie relaxed the false smile on her face. She sighed to herself. Sometimes, being the cheery one felt almost as bad as being the messed up, depressed one._

-----------------------------

'What on earth do you think you're doing!'

'Excuse me?'

'Coming back to Tree Hill after all this time…. And upsetting _my_ family again!'

'Your family?? I haven't done anything to upset your family! And the last time I checked, America was a free country I can do whatever I want!!'

'And not telling us about Haley?? How could you do this… how could you do this to Nathan?! He's your brother… you didn't even tell him about…'

'My brother? The last thing I remember was him shouting to my face that he didn't need a brother like me, and he's married to _you_ not Haley as you have so often reminded me…'

'Why you…'

'And… they were rock stars! It was in the newspapers, on the television. Unless you switched off at the single mention of two of them… there's no reason why you shouldn't have known!!!'

There was a silence as Peyton realized that every word he said was true. How they had stopped watching the news when Haley and Chris' second album went platinum, how they had only bought a newspaper which feature strictly global news and politics, nothing about the entertainment scene. How she had stopped visiting the record stores since Nathan took to playing When the skies go blue on the eve of his and Haley's anniversary and she pretended not to notice.

Just as she pretended not to notice last night when he sat in his study all night long, replaying the chorus over and over again, as he cried himself to sleep.

Her husband was in love with another woman.

A dead woman.

'Furthermore what I do or did has nothing to do with you Peyton. You made that perfectly clear 12 years ago when you…'

'I did nothing!'

'You cut me out of our… out of _his_ life. I will _never _forgive you for that.'

There was a silence, it was almost as if a tightening in her heart and for the first time in years, Peyton felt a tear slip down her cheek.

'Well I don't care what you do or don't do!' she screamed. 'But I will not let _my_ son have _anything _to do with a child _you_ raised! So leave me and leave my family alone!!'

'Fine!'

'Fine!'

Peyton put the phone down, her hands trembling so much she had to use both hands to steady the earpiece onto its hook. She breathed in and out, in and out, leaning her weight on the table to try to think clearly. She breathed in and out, in and out, tears falling off her face and onto the table in huge drops. Her body heaved as she struggled to regain composure and against her will she felt her whole body crumple onto the floor. Like how she did, 17 years ago, a broken girl… now a broken woman.

**Ding dong.**

The doorbell rang.

Peyton ignored it, holding firm to the belief that she had taken enough for one day, nothing worse could be about to happen.

**Ding dong.**

Apparently she was mistaken.

Slowly, gingerly she pulled herself up, pleading it not to be someone that she was emotionally distraught with. For at the moment, she didn't think she had the strength left in her, or as a matter of fact, the emotional capacity.

**Ding dong.**

She grabbed a stack of tissues from the side and swiped them across her wet face, she looked in the hallway mirror to try to disguise the fact that her life felt like it was breaking in front of her very eyes.

**Ding dong.**

When she felt that she at least looked human, she pulled open the door bravely.

'Peyton!'

A familiar voice.

A familiar face.

A familiar smile.

'Hello Brooke.'


	16. the worst day since i dunno when

thanks guys so glad you appreciate the slowly but surely increasing clarity... is eugenia nathan's? hahah... you'll just have to see...thanks. pls cont to read n review. this chpt will hold some clues to the mystery of the story's beginnings - breyton, brucas and understanding leyton! enjoy!

**the worst day since i dunno when**

'How'd your godfather take it?' Shane said putting down his tray of meatloaf.

'Not so good,' Eugenia said chewing furiously on her carrot stick. She stuffed a french fry vigorously into her mouth.

'Stop murdering your food please,' Shane said laughing good-naturedly and playfully knocking her food out of her hand.

'Shane! This is terrible!' she said grumpily. 'How can you joke about this?'

'They'll get over it…' he said putting his hands behind his head. 'It's probably some old basketball rivalry or something.'

'Lukey told me to never see you again.'

This got Shane's attention, he sat up and looked straight into his girlfriend's pretty but sad eyes.

'And what'd you say?' he asked.

'I said I couldn't… that I l…'

'That I…'

Shane looked at her eagerly.

'I.. liked you a lot. And that he couldn't order me around I wasn't a child,' she said resolutely.

'Oh,' Shane replied. 'Well, what'd he say?'

'He didn't say anything. He just went off into his study, the same way he always does whenever he gets upset.'

'Oh,' Shane said. 'My dad does the same thing. He's usually really noisy and active, but when he gets upset he just goes off into his study and broods…'

'Like when he fights with your mum?'

'Hmm… nope,' he said. 'He and mum never fight.'

'Never?' she asked, a little shocked.

'Yeah…' he said scratching his head. 'Not as far as I can remember anyway.'

'Well Lukey's never noisy but he was really upset this time…' she said sadly.

'How can you tell?' he asked.

'He didn't come out, the whole night,' she said. 'When I woke up in the morning he was still in there, with the door bolted. It was awful.'

'Oh no…. you alright?' he said ruffling her hair gently.

She nodded and swallowed. They both ate their food in silence for the next few moments. Eugenia couldn't help but wonder what had happened to make them so angry with each other. And at the mention of her parents' name, Mr. Scott had looked shocked but also, in his eyes there was something much more than sadness.

Grieved, devastated, he looked practically in pain.

The way she used to feel… which reminded her…

'Hey Shane can you come over to my place after school?' she asked.

'Won't your godfather be there?' he wondered.

'Nope, he has to go out of town for some publication stuff, he told me last week. Besides I have something important to show you.'

'Ooooh I can't wait…'

----------------------------------

'Brooke?' Peyton gripped the sides of the doorway. Slowly, little by little, this had become almost the worst day of her life.

Almost.

'I've missed you so P.Sawyer!' Brooke reached forward and before Peyton could stop her, she had engulfed her into one of her familiar hugs. 'I heard it's P. Scott now though huh?'

Peyton nodded, her head spinning.

'And you have two little 'uns… that's so great for you!'

Peyton nodded and struggled to formulate the words. 'How'd… how'd you know?'

'Oh Luke told me.'

I wonder how much he's told you, Peyton thought to herself.

'So you gonna invite me in?' Brooke said cheekily.

Wordlessly Peyton moved out of the way and ushered her high school best friend into the living room. She made some noise fetching the ice tea but at last placed the jug and two glasses firmly on the centre of the table.

'So how've you been!' Brooke gushed.

'I've been erm.. okay I guess,' Peyton answered cautiously.

'I've wanted to come so many times,' Brooke said. 'But I've never got round to it you know… I'm sorry Peyton…'

Peyton sipped her ice tea and nodded, wondering how many more minutes of idle chatter she had to endure before it would be polite to suggest her leaving. She mentally did the sums in her mind, would 10 minutes be sufficient of 15?

'Well the truth is, I didn't want to come back,' Brooke said suddenly.

At this Peyton was forced to put down her glass and look up.

'I couldn't, it… it's so long it's all in the past now, but now.. now we can start over right P?' Brooke said clasping Peyton's hand in her own.

Peyton resisted the urge to pull away and gave a feeble nod.

It seemed the appropriate time to say something but all that filled the air was the awkward silence of two people who had long since ceased to be friends.

'So how's your love life?' she choked out at last.

'Oh I'm fine!' Brooke gushed. 'I'm married… to a model actually. You know that I'm designing full time for Victoria's Secret lingerie line now? So I actually met this model 5 years ago and we got married just like that! He's really wonderful… his name's Stan.'

Another awkward silence. Model, clothes, fashion, marriage… what was the appropriate thing to ask!

'Any kids?'

'Nope,' Brooke said. 'I… well, after the miscarriage the doctor said I might not have any more children. Some complications and stuff, you know? And after rehab I guess I didn't even feel ready to adopt or any of that stuff so…. well… yeah.'

'Oh,' Peyton said. 'Were you… Were you, I mean, erm… okay after it?'

'After the miscarriage? No babe I was a mess,' Brooke gave a sad smile.

'That's why I took to drinking. And then the rehab after it to get over the alcoholism. Poor Lucas, he had to help me through all of that, and then the moving around. It seemed that wherever I went it reminded me of something that I'd lost… and coming back to Tree Hill was out of the question. It was only in the past few years that I'd even dared to think of coming back.' Brooke gave a weary laugh. 'It took some getting over you remember I always wanted a big family? But Stan and I we're alright…'

And for the first time, Peyton finally realised, she finally realised what had happened. She sat there unable to move, unable to speak, until she realised that Brooke had stood up to leave.

'I'd best be going P, Stan's waiting for me at the café,' she said cheerily. 'But don't be a stranger alright?'

Peyton nodded silently as she opened the door for her. She watched her lithe figure walk down her front porch and off into the sunlight.

'Brooke!' she shouted suddenly. Brooke turned around and smiled in a friendly manner. Peyton gulped down and spoke. 'I'm sorry… for everything…'

Brooke smiled back. 'I'm sorry too…'

With that she turned around and walked away as Peyton stood on her front porch staring at the sky in speechless wonder.


	17. it's okay to grieve

**It's okay to grieve**

Eugenia switched on the basement lights as she pulled Shane by the hand excitedly down the stairs. Shane had been trying to slow her down the whole way to her house, she had been a few steps away from sprinting the whole way back.

'Relax Eugenia, we're here…'

He stopped speechless as he caught sight of that which was in front of him.

A simple wooden table had been set up in the centre of the room, it was her work table covered with a red and gold tablecloth. But the beauty of it was on the table itself. Right in the centre were three figurines, a man, a woman and a little girl. They were small, the man no taller than the length of your arm, but there were so intricate and beautiful that even Shane was amazed to see them. Anyone could see that their beauty stood head and shoulders above any of Eugenia's precious work.

'You… you did that?' he breathed.

'Yup,' she said proudly. 'Their my parents and me.'

Shane looked at her in utter amazement.

'It's 'cos of you,' she said smiling with tears in her eyes. 'I can do it 'cos of you… you've made me happy again…'

-------------------

That night the Scotts had a silent meal. Excluding Beth who chattered away about her day – her basketball, her swimming, her best friends Lucy and Pat, her spelling which she scored full marks, her new purple and yellow dress…

But even she in the end got bored listening to the sound of her own voice.

'Everyone's so quiet today!' she said, frustrated.

Nathan got up and went silently out of the room to his study.

'May I be excused?' Shane said gruffly standing up as well.

'You haven't finished eating…' Peyton said but Shane was already walking away.

'Shane Scott! You come back here!'

Peyton put down her hands in exasperation.

A silent sulking son and a silent mourning husband, what more could a woman want?

With a sigh she stood up and began to clear away the dishes, there was no point in pretending she had an appetite. As she placed by her quiet obedient daughter Beth reached out and grabbed her arm.

'No pudding Mums?' she asked softly.

Peyton smiled, how lovely to be at the age when chocolate pudding could solve most of life's problems.

'I'll get you your bowl honey,' Peyton said kissing her daughter on the forehead. 'And after that I'll help you with your spellings alright?'

'Okay Mums,' her daughter replied cheerfully.

It was late at night in an empty bed when Peyton woke up to hear her daughter's little feet padding past her room. Taking care not to make any noise she crept behind her little girl as she walked carefully down the stairs. Peyton couldn't help but suppress a chuckle as she watched Beth held tight to the banisters of the stairs just as she had always taught her. Finally they reached the bottom of the stairs, watching from a distance Peyton saw her daughter creep up to the study. Inside Nathan's record was still playing and his head was in his arms. Peyton walked up to her daughter took her into her arms.

'Daddy… daddy's sad Mums,' Beth whispered into her ear, pointing her little finger at Nathan. Nathan appeared to have fallen asleep with his head in his heads, but his head and hands were shaking and Peyton could hear his deep heavy sobs that came from the depths of his soul.

'What's the matter with daddy Mums…' Beth asked, her big brown eyes looking up into her mother's face, looking for answers, answers that Peyton hadn't yet figure out how to give.

'He's just sad baby…' Peyton hushed. 'He's just sad. He'll be alright soon.'

Peyton carried Beth in her arms and turned off the study's light. She took her daughter back up the stairs and into her room.

'He's just lost something he's lost baby, something that was very precious to him… that's why he's upset….'

'Why doesn't the person that took it return it to him?' Beth asked innocently.

Peyton paused as she tucked her little girl into bed.

'It's not as simple as that…' she said under her breath.

'What Mums?' Beth asked.

'It's "pardon" Beth.'

'Okay… pardon Mums?'

Peyton sighed. 'Too many questions for tonight baby, tomorrow okay?'

'Okay Mums!'

And with that she rolled over and promptly fell asleep. Peyton waited until her daughter's breathing was smooth before she left the room, closing the door behind her.

She walked slowly to her empty bedroom, pulled off the blankets off the bed and crawled into a tiny corner near the wardrobe. There, she closed her eyes and let the tears roll down her cheeks remembering what Brooke had said to her, so many years ago, back when she was only a little girl, when she had lost someone that was very precious to her – a few years older than Beth was now.

A few days after a funeral so grave and solemn that nobody had spoken a word. Where her father looked like a lost man, with eyes like Nathan's now, knowing that he had lost the love of his life forever. The day that Peyton realised the word 'Mum' would hurt her for the rest of her days until that blessed word was directed at her.

Back when she was a child her best friend and hugged her tight and whispered those words of comfort, that helped beyond anything else.

'_It's okay to grieve P, it's okay to grieve, let it all out. It's okay to grieve.'_


	18. lonely

im quite pleased with this chpt 'cos i tried something different i hope it comes across well with you guys. please let me know thanks again!!

**lonely**

'Do you want to get married?'

Chad leaned forward to look into Hilarie's eyes.

And into the camera, of course.

He reached out his hand and touched Hilarie's cheek, she looked away – longing, wistful. This was the fourth take on this scene, he usually messed it up sometime about right now.

He took a breath.

'Do you… do you want to marry me…' he moved his hand slowly to her hair – her fake hair that was. Only this time he spotted something, a strand of her real hair had fallen out, grazing her cheek slightly. He tucked the strand behind her ears, and kissed her cheek. He could feel the tension in her back. He could almost read her mind in those green eyes of hers….

That wasn't in the script Chad!! Hilarie felt like screaming into his ear, but the camera was still rolling.You're not supposed to kiss me like that - unexpectedly, like its nothing, like its natural **without giving me the time to mentally prepare first **you insensitive annoying selfish self-centred... Obviously their nitty picky director had chosen this day to forget his script. She could kill Chad right now. She turned to give him dagger looks when she saw the red light change, the camera was on her now.

So instead she had to look into his eyes – longingly, wistfully.

And it was then that she saw something.

Was it longing? Desire?

Honestly why did Chad have to pick today to act so well?? Just when she was getting all jittery.

She breathed deeply, how many more seconds did she have before the whole scene was messed up?

If only he would stop _looking_ at her like that.

Like he meant it.

Like it was real.

She breathed, feeling herself blush all the way to her ears.

Your line Hills, he was mouthing.

Shut up was what she felt like mouthing.

Then with all her might and concentration she forced the word out.

'No,' she said.

'Cut!!!!' the director yelled. 'Try reading the script Burton, I would have scrapped it if Murray hadn't messed up so many takes before this. Great this time Murray though please remember that its Shane not Lucas you're playing… less throbbing emotion please.'

Hilarie and Chad were still paused there, in each others' laps. She could see something in his eyes, it had been there since that moment in the scene only now it was deepened, intensified. It wasn't just longing, or desire, it was….

Sadness.

Sadness? But what was _he_ sad for?

Chad motioned for her to get up as he walked away, lifting his hand to his eyes. Hilarie watched him wordlessly as he walked off the set.

Usually he always joked or laughed with her, played his 'Lucas Scott' role for a few minutes teasing her about how hopelessly in love she was with him.

Peyton, that is.

Usually she played along, joking about how they should just elope and live happily ever after.

Their characters, that is.

But today was different.

What made it different?

He'd just walked off, and left her in the scene, questioning how clear the line remained between fiction and reality.

--------------------

'No,' Eugenia said firmly.

'No?' Shane questioned. 'Why?'

'Because I love you.'

Shane looked down at the girl he had known since the moment that he had met that he would fall desperately in love with.

'You… you love me?' he asked.

'Yes,' she said resolutely.

'But you don't want to marry me because you love me,' he said.

'Yes,' she said.

'Can you blame me if I'm getting confused here?' he threw his arms up in the air.

Eugenia laughed and silenced him with a gentle kiss on the lips.

'I've never told you this but before my Mum met my Dad she was married to someone else,' she said.

'What!' Shane looked stunned.

'Hang on hang on…' Eugenia laughed. 'She married this man in high school. But she always said they were too young, when she made some wrong choices it fell apart…'

'How do you know this stuff?' he couldn't help but tease her matter-of-factness.

'I snooped around when I was little, found her old wedding ring… some other odds and ends, she had some explaining to do…' she laughed. 'But that's why we can't get married… I don't want it to be like that for us…'

'So we can't elope and run away?' Shane kidded with his puppy dog-eyed look.

'No, we can't!' she said.

'Alright then,' Shane said scooping her up in his arms. 'But that's not going to stop me from kissing you.'

There was a loud slam as Shane pulled Eugenia close to his lips. They pulled apart and saw Lucas standing behind them.

'Lukey I…' Eugenia began.

'Eugenia get out of the room,' Lucas said.

'I…'

'Get out of the room.'

Eugenia walked up the basement stairs angrily.

Lucas faced this young man steadily. For the first time in his life, he had met this man face to face. And all he saw in his face was…

A stranger.

'Get out of here!' he shouted. 'I don't want to ever see you near Eugenia again!'

Lucas walked slowly up the stairs after the boy left. His head was throbbing with the realization that the first words he had ever spoken to _that boy_ was words of anger, hatred, pain – not directed at him.

'I hate you!' were the words that greeted him as he stepped out of the basement.

'Eugenia…' he said as she paced up and down.

'You humiliated me, you screamed at my boyfriend you have no right to do that…' she shouted.

'This is my house and I am your…'

'You're not my father!' she shrieked. 'You're not my parent you're not my father you've made it perfectly clear that you never really wanted anything to do with me!'

Lucas was stunned. 'Eugenia I…'

'I hate you! Leave me alone!'

And with that she stormed up the stairs leaving Lucas once again, alone.

_Give one word to describe Lucas, Peyton._

_Joke._

_Give one word tp describe Peyton, Lucas._

_Lonely._

So this is what true loneliness feels like, Lucas thought to himself. Feeling the anger sweep away from his face, his mind, leaving a cold emptiness on the inside.

So this is what loneliness feels like.

**Ring ring.**

'Lucas Scott speaking,' he said tiredly. 'Yes, I'll meet you at 9pm.'


	19. things said in the dark

**Things said in the dark**

'You wanted to see me?' Lucas walked ahead to face the woman.

The woman who had caused all his agony for all these years, who had kept him, twisted in a mixture of pain and hurt. Unable to live properly, unable to breathe easily her face, voice and memories occupying every waking second of his days. And nights too, when even his conscious will wasn't present to stop his dreams from tormenting him.

He had come intending to shout at her, to scream at her, to give her what she deserved.

And now he was here. In front of her, watching her turn around.

Her blonde hair disheveled, tears streaming down her cheeks.

'Peyton I…'

'Lucas,' she choked. 'I'm only going to say this once so please don't interrupt me.' She pulled out a thick book and stuffed it into his hands. 'It's his… Shane's. I made copies. Of… of everything. There's a picture of when he first walked, his footprints in the sand, his first word taped down, his first birthday, the first letter he wrote to Santa… everything…' She was crying now, in thick heavy sobs. 'Everything… our… our son…'

Lucas tried to hold her, to stop her from collapsing onto the floor. He was trying to find the words to say but none came and he was too stunned to cry. Too shocked to move.

'Peyton,' his voice raspy came out at last.

'I was too scared…' she sobbed. 'I was too… too scared that you'd leave again. I couldn't take it… I was breaking already from the last time… I was too scared.'

Lucas let her cry, her warm tears falling onto his arm. His arms holding hers, trying to reach out to this woman he loved, and still loved with all his heart.

'Lucas… I'm… I'm so… sorry.' With that she turned and ran off, leaving him on a dark street with a thick book of photographs in his hands and more questions.

But finally, one answer, the answer he'd been waiting for all this time.

He opened the first page – "Lucas Scott – Our Son"

--------------------

When Peyton reached home it was already past 11. She threw her bag on the floor and collapsed onto the sofa, she felt like she could cry but strangely her eyes were dry. In the past few days she had probably cried enough for the past 17 years. She cried when she woke up, cried after she had sent the kids to school, cried at night when everyone was in bed and Nathan was in his study. The living room light switched on, Nathan stood at the doorway between the kitchen and the living room holding a mug. He took one look at her tear-stained face and leaned over her kissing her.

'I'm sorry,' he said.

'Me too…' she said.

'I'm okay now…' he said.

'I know,' she said.

He wiped away her tears gently and kisses her lightly on the cheek, Peyton let him feeling the warmth return to her at the touch of his familiar fingers.

'Come to bed Peyt,' he said softly.

'In a minute,' she said. 'Just a minute.'

Peyton heard his footsteps go up the stairs. She walked slowly over to the kitchen and turned on the tap. She let the tap run for a few minutes before reaching over to take a glass.

**Ring ring.**

Peyton turned off the tap and reached over to pick up the phone.

'Hello?'

'Peyton its Lucas.'

'Oh.'

'I'm sorry for calling so late, its just Eugenia's not at home and I had a fight with her earlier… I was wondering if she's umm… at your place…'

'Oh… oh I see… I'll go check.'

'You won't… umm… shout at her or anything… I mean…'

'For goodness sakes Luke its almost midnight… I'm not going to kick her out on the streets. Gimme a sec…'

There was some muffling sound before Lucas heard her voice again.

'She's in Shane's room Luke she's fine.'

'Oh… okay great.'

'They're both dressed if you're wondering. He's a good boy.'

'Okay, that's good. Umm… thanks.'

'Okay…'

'Bye…'

'Peyton?'

'Yes?'

'I was thinking… maybe we should just let them be, you know put it all behind us. If you can get Nathan to forget the whole feud thing? You know let them have the chance at happiness we all never had?'

'Peyton?'

'Yeah… yeah of course.'

'Good, good.'

'Okay then.'

'Okay.'

**Click**.

Peyton walked up the stairs slowly and peeked into her son's room again. He was lying peacefully, his back facing Eugenia's – both of them fast asleep. In her mind she remembered another night, long ago.

_She stumbled in the hotel room, her head was killing her. Rachel had definitely made those drinks too strong – that definitely wasn't just vodka. She collapsed on the bed next to Lucas. He looked at her, smiled and then turned out the light. She lay there, her head splitting her eyes aching but knowing exactly where she was. Not wanting to move, not caring about anything else except the fact that for one night, she got to go to bed without loneliness as her only company._

She closed the door shut and walked off to her room.

In the morning Peyton was making pancakes when Shane rushed in.

'Gotta go Mums early day at school see you soon love you bye!'

'Wait a minute young man,' she called out. 'Get back here.'

He walked back in with an innocent expression on his face.

'Firstly, I took all the trouble to make pancakes this morning so you are going to get in here and eat them without giving me any nonsensical excuses,' she said with a smile. 'Secondly I'd appreciate it if you'd call your girlfriend down because I don't want people saying that I let our guest starve to death.' Shane's mouth dropped wide open. 'Thirdly please ask her to call her godfather because he is worried _sick_. And lastly you are grounded for 1 month no more sleepovers without running by me or your father first.'

Shane stood there in shock horror.

'Go on then!' Peyton flipped a pancake over onto a plate. 'Hurry up.'

'Mums you are _cool_,' he said at last running up the stairs.


	20. the end of the dark angel

hey guys cldnt upload awhile ago no idea why but here's the next chpt. some surprises here. thanks for reading!

**The end of the dark angel**

Peyton left her daughter and her friend in the pool to answer the doorbell. It had been ringing incessantly for the past minute. She grabbed a towel and was drying her hair roughly as she ran to get it.

'Hang on, I'm just coming…' she stopped the moment she opened the door. Her mouth hung open as water droplets dripped down her hair.

'Hi Peyton,' Lucas said.

'Lucas…' she said closing the front door behind her hurriedly. Her voice dropping to a whisper, 'What are you doing here… you can't be here, my…'

'I just wanted to pass you something,' he said thrusting a file into her hands. 'It's yours anyway.'

Peyton eyed Lucas suspiciously, then the file in her hands. It looked strangely familiar..

'Open it,' Lucas urged. 'It won't eat you,' an uneasy, slightly forced laughter.

Peyton smiled weakly, opened up the file and gasped in utter astonishment.

'I found it, the day you threw it away,' he began. 'I wanted to remind you that your... _it_ still mattered, even if not to you anymore.' He paused in recollection. 'It still matters to... _to me_.'

Peyton flipped roughly through the pages, each piece categorized according to date – something Lucas had done. She felt shocked and strangely, grateful.

'Thank you Lucas,' she said at last. 'Thank you.'

And with a smile and nod of his head he was gone.

Peyton walked steadily through the living room and through the patio doors to the pool area where her daughter was. She checked they were playing safely before lying down on the pool bench and opening up the clear file. She paused at one piece for a few moments as if deep in thought. After a few moment she took out a fairly big piece of her old artwork, turned to the back of it and using a pen in her shirt pocket, began to make some markings.

'Mums! What're you doing?' Beth called.

'I'm drawing baby,' she called back.

'I didn't know you drew Mums!' she shouted in glee. 'Look Lucy my Mums an artist!'

---------------------

'You wanted to see me?' Lucas asked walking over to the park bench. It seemed lighter than it was the last time they had met, maybe it had something to do with the full moon in the sky. The whole park was deathly silent and empty, except for the two of them. In the far distance he could see the Rivercourt, a place drenched with memories of what had been and what never was.

Lucas put his hands in his pockets and shifted his weight nervously. Two weeks had passed since he had turned up uninvited on Peyton's doorstep and now he was seeing her again. For a moment, just a moment he remembered the feeling after the match with Nathan.

'_What did you bet?'_

_Her face worn down, tired, but beautiful. The most beautiful face he had ever seen, with eyes that spoke volumes with just one look. _

'_Why?'_

_Because nothing matters but you._

_A stunned stare, not believing what he says. Nathan calling, a shrug of her shoulders._

'_I'll be seeing ya.'_

She stood up from her seat on the bench to reveal a single piece of paper. She gave him a watery smile as she passed the paper to him.

'And now we can't have it?' he said questioningly at the familiar sad art in his hands.

'Behind,' she gestured with a smile.

It was a picture, sketched out in blue ink a "Romeo and Juliet" style. There were two figures in it both adorned in ancient clothes, the girl with an elaborate headdress, the guy with a sword slung to his side. The guy was standing at the bottom of the steps, his hands stretched towards the girl at the top of the steps. They both wore the same expression that was difficult to define – it was neither sad nor happy, and as Lucas looked up to the artist, he realised that they were both wearing the expressions of the figures in the picture.

'A little medieval I know..' Peyton laughed inconfidently. 'I guess I'm getting old and sentimental...'

'You drew us?' he said slowly.

Peyton nodded. 'But the thing is…' she said, no more laughter. Her eyes welling up, her voice breaking. 'It's the first thing I've drawn in 17 years Luke… 17 years!'

They both stood motionless, speechless, staring at the picture in Lucas' hand. Raindrops began falling on their heads, on the ground, on the picture.

'I have to go…' Peyton said feeling her the rain spatter over her body.

'Peyton don't go…' he said.

'You can keep it…' she said, beginning to run. 'Goodbye!'

'I'll be seeing ya!' he called out with desperation, a longing that wasn't there as strong the first time he said it. 'Right?'

Peyton stopped in stunned recollection of that earlier moment. The rain began soaking through her shoes as she remembered the hope she had held in her heart, despite all the mess she was in, a hope that life could be, would be better with him. A hope that life had torn away from her, a hope that she had thrown away the moment she stepped out of that wedding dressing room.

She turned around slowly to face the man of her dreams, his eyes were misty with emotion.

'I love you,' he said helplessly.

She looked into his eyes, those blue eyes that always saved her, searching for the answers she'd been looking for all this time.

'Lucas…I…'

---------------------


	21. give love a chance

hey ya it is kinda awful for lucas what with peyton n shane... i think the next chpt might be a little painful for some of you. but itll b worth it you're gonna hav to wait a liiitttle while before you get to hear the end. thanks!

**Give love a chance**

'So Peyton, what did you think of the last scene?' Chad said as the lights crew began turning off the scene lights for the day. He was putting away his "40 something" jacket for the last time.

Hilarie smiled to herself. It was the first time he'd kidded around with her for weeks. The last few episodes had been pretty silent, he'd done the best acting he'd ever done though, but there had been no joking, no pizza nonsense, no messing around with the costumes.

Although she hadn't even admitted it to himself, she had missed that.

The door slammed as the last few crew members left the scene.

'I thought it was okay, Lucas…' she said grinning, maybe she would try joking around for a change. Chad paused as he was folding up his jacket. Then with a look as if he was contemplating something, he put the jacket back on and walked towards the blonde actress putting away the pieces of artwork.

'So how about we try the scene that I wrote again?' he said a twinkle in his eyes his hands firmly on her shoulders

'I don't think I remember the words,' she said a little taken aback at his sudden closeness. The whole scene seemed suddenly so silent. So still, as if all the world was watching the two of them share this supreme moment in the One Tree Hill Story.

Perhaps sometimes a story does that? It engulfs you so much that for a few seconds you share the magic of that true love which is meant to conquer all.

'I'll guide you along,' he said softly. He pulled her close, his arms resting around his waist. 'You say, "Lucas I…"'

'Lucas I…' she echoed resting one of her hands on his arm, more to support herself than anything else.

'And you're supposed to look longingly, pensively, sorrowfully,' he narrated with a kidding smile. Hilarie rolled her eyes up at him but smiled her girlish smile.

'And I say…' he said. 'I love you.'

'It's too late.'

'No it's not.'

'Lucas I…' Hilarie looked up into those blue eyes and felt for a split second, the same feeling she felt when she had said "no" to "Shane's proposal", the same feeling that Peyton ought to be feeling right now, the same feeling that…

'Chad I can't do this,' she said looking away.

'Of course you can it's just…' he said.

'No I can't,' she said releasing herself from his grasp.

'Hills…' he walked over touching her arms lightly from the back. 'Let me tell you something I realised a long while ago.'

Hilarie paused to listen to his well-spoken words.

'On the first season of One Tree Hill, we both fell in love. You fell in love with Lucas Scott…'

'I…' she interrupted turning around to face him.

'But the thing is,' he said cutting her off. 'I… I fell in love with Hilarie Burton.'

Hilarie was stunned, Chad began again. 'I… I like you a lot, Hills, I mean I… I could love you, if you'd let me. And I'm not asking for a commitment or anything. I'm just asking for a movie, a lunch or something. A chance, that's all I'm asking for. A chance to break down those walls of bubblyness and cheeriness that you keep around everyone else, a chance to see the real you.'

Hilarie swallowed slowly.

'So how about it Hills?' Chad asked.

Hilarie took a deep breath and gave her answer.

'I… I can't, Chad I'm… I'm sorry.'

The door slammed shut.

Hilarie walked tiredly over to the side and fell into the chair, her head in her hands.

Why was it all so difficult, so complicated?

Over her shoulder she caught sight of an interesting piece of script, picking it up she began to read it for the first time. The original script for the last episode of OTH, before Chad submitted his.

_Final Episode. _

Scene 1 

_Raining heavily. Lucas and Peyton in the centre of the stage._

'_I'll be seeing ya!' says Lucas._

_Peyton pauses turns around looks him in the eye._

'_I love you,' says Lucas._

_Peyton pauses again._

'_Goodbye,' she says._

_Peyton runs off the stage leaving Lucas in the middle. He drops the art piece and walks off in the opposite direction._

Scene 2 

_Peyton arrives back at home, soaking wet. She walks into the study, digs until she finds a beaten up, old record of hers and puts it on. She pulls out some blank paper and a few broken pencils. She begins to draw._

_A few hours pass._

_Shane comes down to the kitchen to get a glass of milk. He passes by the study and sees Peyton inside._

'_Mums? What're you doing up so late?' Shane says._

_Peyton continues to draw, her sketch is almost finished._

'_I couldn't sleep,' he says. 'Eugenia and I broke up.'_

'_What!' Peyton turns around to face her son. 'What happened?'_

_Shane walks slowly to the centre of the study without answering his mum. He can finally see what Peyton is drawing._

'_You drew me and Eugenia?' he asks, averting his eyes._

'_I…' Peyton replies. 'Yes, yes I did. But what happened Shane?'_

'_We fought, she did something and I got angry… I said some awful things… it's over.'_

_Peyton pulls her son over by the arm. 'Listen Shane, meeting someone you love ain't easy. So when you find someone that you can love, that it's possible for you to be happy with… you hold on, you hear me? You hold on with all of your heart and you hold on for dear life. Don't give up and find that it's too late to go back. Don't regret when it's too late.'_

'_Give love a chance, my son. Give love a chance.'_

Hilarie looked up from the script. She balanced her chin onto the end of it, thinking. Then slowly she took out her phone and pressed a few numbers.

'Hey Chad,' she said clearly. 'I was thinking maybe we could go have lunch, catch a movie or something?'


End file.
